Who do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see someone you like? Are you content with what you see?
Before the World Race, my answer to these questions was a big fat NO. When I looked in the mirror I saw someone who was insecure. I was reliant on other people’s opinions, and someone who was always comparing herself to others. I was never happy with the way I looked because I over analyzed every flaw I had. I basically picked myself apart by comparing myself to my friends, coworkers, and people I saw on social media.
I realized how reliant I was on my outward appearance and the compliments I got from others. I found my worth in my outward appearance because I didn’t know who I was on the inside.
I decided to face my fears and challenge myself to a year without wearing makeup. I started in August 2018 right before the ten day training camp for the World Race. I’m now on month 10 of my no makeup journey!
I’ve had many moments on the race when I’ve felt plain ugly! Living out of a backpack, rotating between my four different outfits that don’t always smell too fresh, and not always being able to take a shower. I feel like I look like a half put together bum most of the time. I’ve learned that baby wipes are GOLD on the World Race. Apparently, in other countries the water just stops working. Sometimes it could be out for an hour.. or two days! I never thought I’d be so thankful for baby wipes!!!
I’m also continuing to learn that real beauty is not external. In today’s culture and society we are all fixated on our outward appearances. We are always trying to mimic what we see on social media. We try to perfect our appearance by dieting, exercising, counting calories, wearing makeup, etc. We will go to any extreme to try to reach this non attainable thing we call p e r f e c t i o n. We spend so much time, effort, and money on the idea of perfection. We think that it will somehow make our lives better or might make us feel better about ourselves. In my case, I wanted and felt like I needed to look good on the outside because I didn’t like what my inside looked like. I didn’t like the person I was. I didn’t see the little put together Christian girl everyone else saw. I saw the broken, selfish, and ugly girl that was hiding on the inside.
Since being on the World Race, I have had a hard time not wearing makeup and also allowing people to see me for who I am.
The girl under the makeup.
While living out of a backpack, traveling for days on end, living in a different country every month, constantly being pushed outside your comfort zone, adjusting to different time zones, being jet lagged, and being homesick all while living in extremely close proximity to five other people 24/7 will definitely bring the real you out.
Over the past 7 months the real me has made her grand appearance. I’ve come to realize and accept that she is beautiful. I’ve learned that God sees me as His daughter who is unconditionally loved, sought after, worthy, and enough. Even despite all my failures and shortcomings.
I’m continuing to learn that real beauty is not about how much you weigh, what you dress like, or the makeup you wear. It’s about who you are. Not what you look like. God calls us His beloved sons and daughters if you have accepted Jesus as your Savior.
Not wearing makeup this year has been a step in helping me learn how to determine my self worth and true beauty within by placing my identity in Christ. I realized that my self analyzing, my comparison of myself to others, and inner self hatred were all started by a lie. A lie that we all have believed or still believe. That we are not enough.
If you are someone that believes these lies about yourself, here’s the truth:
You are healed and whole in Jesus. You are greatly loved by God. You are chosen by God, forgiven and justified through Christ. You are an ambassador for Christ. You are more than a conqueror through Him that loves you. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. You are a co-heir with Christ. You are chosen by God who called you out of the darkness of sin and into the light and life of Christ so you can proclaim the excellence and greatness of who He is.
If you ever catch yourself believing a lie. I encourage you to replace it with these truths because you are
b e a u t i f u l.
