It’s here the World Race is here! Today I will be going to training and in 4 days I will be in Zambia, Africa. It is so crazy to think that it is actually here. As the trip draws closer people begin to ask me “How are you feeling?” “Are you nervous?” Webster’s Defines Nervous as: to think about problems or fears : to feel or show fear and concern because you think that something bad has happened or could happen.
And my answer WAS – Yes. The closer the trip got I began the habit of looking back instead of forward. Looking back over the last couple of months as I raised support, as I went to training camp, and as I got to spend time with family friends, I started to see more bad than good. It is so easy for me to find and look at all my faults. All the things I could have done better and I begin to drown myself in missed opportunities, better choices I could have made, and all my mistakes that I did. I could have spent way more time in the Word and more time talking to God. So I get this negative perspective of myself. Then I feel even worse because I accepted the position as Leader on my team, and I feel that I have failed them already. At training camp the World Race staff presented this role as an opportunity to love and serve my team. And I that is what I want to do! I Love Team Zealous Love and I want to be able to see them to do more and be more in Christ than they ever thought was possible. But as I look back and see how I’ve prepared myself for the role I could have done more. I could have put them first so many more times. I haven’t been in the Word like I need to be, reading books is no substitute. So I ask myself, How can I lead others when I can’t seem to make time for Christ in my daily life.
When Christmas came around and I began to read the Christmas Story, Mary really stuck out to me. We know nothing about how Mary lived on a daily basis, but we do know when God asked her to give birth to His son she immediately agreed. What I love about Mary is that she did not back down because of the excuses she could of had – she was too young, she was about to get married, she might have performed a sacrifice wrong, or her sins were to big to carry the holy Son of God. There were many more excuses she could have thought up, but that was not her response. Her reaction was PRAISE and WORSHIP.
And Mary said: “My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is his name.
His mercy extends to those who fear him,
from generation to generation.
He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
He has brought down rulers from their thrones
but has lifted up the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things
but has sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
remembering to be merciful
to Abraham and his descendants forever,
just as he promised our ancestors.” -(Luke 1:46-55)
Instead of looking back she looked up and saw God. She sang his praises because of his never ending mercies. Never once did she think about her inadequacy but all her focus was on God and what He had done in the past and she knew He WOULD do again and for her.
So am I nervous? … NO …
Because I am not looking at myself I am looking at God and his Holiness. That is the only thing I should be doing. Looking forward to God and His plans. The only reason I should look back is to reflect on the wonderful things God has done. No matter what I have or haven’t been doing well God is God and He is faithful. He is my savior and is always working on me, I am thankful. He is the only reason I am going on the World Race and He is what will help me preserver, serve the members of Team Zealous Love well, and show His love to the World!
“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 3:13-14
