There’s a song that I’ve been playing over and over.
I usually put my iPod on shuffle and flip through the songs depending on what mood I’m in. Occasionally I’ll listen to a sermon or listen to an audio book, but for the most part I just wait to see what fills my ears next.
But lately there’s a song that I search for. Only Love Remains by JJ Heller. If you can’t find a way to listen to it, here are the lyrics:
Scenes of you come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces
That will grow in the ground
I know that I deserve to die
For the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus
As you tear me apart
Please kill the liar
Kill the thief in me
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains
You burn away the ropes that bind
And hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth
I begin to see reality
For the first time in my life
I know that I’m a shadow
But I’m dancing in your light
Teach me to be humble
Call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains
The sincerity in her voice as she sings rings true to me right now. The lyrics speak to my spiritual reconstruction. Amidst my brokenness and my hurting, I know that the Lord is doing a good work in me. That any struggle or hardship I come across right now is part of His process of refining me to better reflect Him. God is love. All that should be in me is love. All I want to be in me is love. I deserve to die, but pray that He is gentle with me as He breaks me down. I’m tired of anything within me that is not love. I want it to be killed by a heavenly commission. I want nothing to do with this world and pray that anything holding me, pulling me down is burned away, even if it leaves me scarred. And though I am not worthy of being in His light, He allows me to be in His divine presence and dance with His joy. I pray to be humbled before our Father and can’t wait to be called from the place where I finally died to myself at. My lifeless body can then be filled with love. My spirit and everything that runs through my veins can be love. Just love. Just God. Because God is love.
