“I shouldn’t have worn a skirt today.”
This was the exact thought that immediately came to my mind this morning as I was walking to breakfast. It wasn’t because it was hot or because I was uncomfortable. It was because two little boys, who couldn’t be more than 6 years old, came up and grabbed my butt as we were walking, and continued to follow us for about 5 minutes. My immediate reaction after being sexually harassed by two kids was that it was my fault. That I shouldn’t have worn a skirt that gives them more access to my behind than athletic shorts. How is this okay?
We are growing up in a world that is teaching boys that it is okay to degrade women, and in return, it is the girls fault that this happens. Quickly after arriving in Cambodia I realized that ‘rape culture’ is not just an American issue, it is a worldly issue. I watch little boys in the village try and grab our butts and our boobs and try to pull up our shirts. Just like I listened to boys in middle school talking about which girls had the most attractive ‘features’ and slap their butts in the hallways. I watch the older kids hit the girls and make fun of them, just like boys at home would be mean to us if they thought we were cute. I watch the men look at and make comments as I walk down the street to the grocery store, just as I would watch the boys on my campus call out inappropriate things to girls as they walked to class.
My prayer has been that the Lord would reveal scripture to me in new ways, that He would show me things that He needs me to hear. The Lord wants us to look at rape culture the way He does. He wants us to respond the way that Christ would and I think it’s time we listened to Him.
“Her dress was too short.”
“Her boobs were out.”
“You shouldn’t have looked so slutty.”
During the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus talks about lust. His words were, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matt. 5:8). No where in the sermon does it say a man can look upon a woman lustfully if her skirt is short. Christ is clear in His words – looking with a lustful eye is a sin. The victim of assault should not be condemned because of the way they dress and the women of this world should not be taught that we have to cover up to protect a man from sinning. This puts shame on women and shame is not something that comes from the Lord.
“She has a nice butt.”
“You have big boobs.”
“Your butt is flat.”
“She’s flat chested.”
Women are sexualized. It happens daily and it makes us think that our body is one of the best things we have to offer. But Christ says otherwise. In Luke 11:27-28 it says, “As he said these things, a woman in the crowd raised her voice and said to him, ‘ Blessed is the womb that bore you, and the breasts at which you nursed!’ But he said, ‘Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it.” In this passage the woman is saying that Mary is blessed because of her reproductive functions that gave birth and nourished Jesus. His immediate response is that she is not blessed because of those things, but because she has faith and clings to the word of God. A woman’s worth is not in the physical and sexualized features that we are given but instead in our identity of being a daughter of the King.
“She’s lying.”
“There’s no way he could do that to her.”
“She just wants attention.”
When girls do speak out about the harassment and assault that has happened to them it is so often brushed under the rug. People don’t believe the girls and say that they are just making up stories. In Luke 24 when Christ has resurrected from the grave, it is the women who first know this, but when they tell the apostles no one believes them. “Now it was Mary Magdalen and Joanna and Mary the mother of James and the other women with them who told these things to the apostles, but these words seemed to them an idle tale, and they did not believe them.” (Luke 24:10-11). This passage in Luke is a reminder that we shouldn’t disregard what women say. The women were telling the truth about what happened at the tomb, but because of the men not believing them the discovery of this great news was postponed. Why would someone say something so important and be lying about it?
“He didn’t mean for it to go that far.”
“It wasn’t his fault.”
“This will ruin his future.”
In todays society, we have somehow found it okay to defend the boys who sexually assault women. They have too much going for them or it isn’t what it seems. Why does the boy who mentally ruined a girl get defended? In Mark 8 when Jesus is telling the disciples that he must die, Peter does not believe him and starts to try and rebuke him. “And he said this plainly, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But turning and seeing his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.’” (Mark 8:32-33). Peter was focusing on his own earthly desire to want Jesus to stay with them and wasn’t listening to the things he was saying about his necessary death. Peter is wrong in this doing and never does Jesus try to make excuses for what he did, he never tries to protect him from his mistakes. Jesus takes Peter and rebukes him- he literally calls Peter Satan. Jesus doesn’t think twice about ruining Peters ministry or giving him a bad reputation. All he does is looks at what he did and reacts as needed.
Our world is broken, we are hurting and in desperate need of a savior. The enemy has a stronghold on how boys are raised. They are raised thinking it’s okay to be mean to girls and pull their hair, make comments on their physical appearance and make inappropriate jokes about them. It gets defended their whole lives because “boys will be boys”. But it’s not okay. We have been responding just the way Satan wants us to respond, but God has thoughts on this too, and it is time we start to respond how He would.
