This summer I’ve been blessed to be a summer missions intern for my church. I have been able to overflow into students and help them further their relationship with Christ, and encouraging them to live on mission, not only here, but always. When this opportunity was given to me, I expected to be influencing students like my interns in the past have influenced me, but I had no clue how much our great Lord would grow and shape me in the process.
While getting to know the students and their stories and watching God at work, He’s shown me how I tend to put expectations on Him. I have ideas of how God should be working in situations or I compare how He worked on one trip verses another. When in reality, who am I to judge God? Where do I get the idea that I can determine how His plan should work? Apart from God- I am nothing.
I’ve been convicted by the song “Simple Gospel” by United Pursuit recently. Specifically the lyrics:
“I want to know You, Lord. Like I know a friend.” &
“ I used to think that I could box you in, but I’m laying down, I want to know You, Lord.”
I think of my relationship with my best friend, do I box in our friendship? Do I have this small set of ideas of how our relationship should look and everything outside of that I completely disregard? Of course not. So why do I do this with Christ?
By holding God in a box and having this pre-thought out idea of what He should look like, I hold myself back from experiencing everything He has to offer.
“Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.”
Psalm 139:7-12
God is everywhere, always. He is in the big things and in the small moments. He guides and leads us through life all for His glory. So when I only see Him and acknowledge certain aspects of Him based on what I think He should be doing, I hold myself back from seeing and giving glory to our Lord in all areas.
One question I have been asked a lot recently is:
“What do you expect the race to be like for you?”
And I finally have an answer, I don’t expect it to be anything but God’s will. This next season of my life will have no expectations by my standards. I am God’s vessel for His work and will to be done. May the Lord use me as He wishes, and I am fully committed to being lead by faith and not by sight. My prayer is that I can experience God in all things, worshipping and rejoicing in His great name no matter what the situation is- because He is present in everything, not just where I expect Him to be.
I expect the race to be all that God has planned and I am just blessed to be used by the Lord in this way.
Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me and helping me out financially. I am blessed beyond measures with all of your support. I love you all.
