“Where are you going?”
“How are you going to get there?”
“Is that even safe?”
“You’re quitting your job? Well, I wouldn’t do that in this economy..”
“Why can’t you help people in your own country?” “
If you really wanted to help people, couldn’t you just raise all the money and send it over there instead of wasting money to go yourself?”
“Oh, you’re just going to travel the world..”
These are the questions and comments the devil has spoken over me since I decided to leave my world and step into God’s. I’ve avoided this blog like the plague for months; mainly because I didn’t feel worthy.
Quite frankly, I don’t feel qualified.
I’m no family born missionary, and certainly no saint. I have a past a mile long and I’ve been called a hypocrite too many times to count. I praise Jesus on Sunday and cuss on Monday when someone cuts me off on the way to work. I raise money for missions then spend $4 on a nonfat latte. I’m pretty sure I’ve argued firmly for social justice while wearing clothes that were made by children in sweatshops. I’m not put together. I’ve never laid hands to heal the sick. Last Sunday, I was on the lake instead of church because I “needed a break and needed to get away .”
But I am called.
I’ve been running in fear far too long from God’s calling over my life, and I’ve been letting the devil shut me up because I’m always scared to mess up again. And it ends here and now.
You can’t leave with the medical issues you have going on. It’s too dangerous.
Actually, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. “The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life. The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” Psalm 121:7-8
You shouldn’t leave your family in the midst of all this change.
My God is a big God, and He can and WILL provide for my family.
You don’t have half the funds and you can’t raise them in time.
Well, you’re right. I can’t. But He who is in me can, and He will. So please, do shut up.
I’ve always been afraid of making the wrong decisions in life. I could never settle on a college, never felt settled with a major; graduated and still have no idea what I want to do. Never felt settled with someone I’m dating. I kept waiting; paralyzed by fear, for I didn’t want to make the wrong move. If I go left, what if I was supposed to turn right? Since birth, everyone kept telling me I was called to greatness, what if I mess that up? I kept waiting to wake up and find God’s handwriting on my bedroom wall in black and white, spelling out my future like one of those “God came down” moments. I kept looking towards the sky, half expecting God to write in the clouds behind some plane what step to take. The funny thing is, God has already written my steps in black and white for me. “Your ears will hear a word behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21
Allow me to make myself clear. I am DONE with the lies of the devil.
The nature and strength of my faith in the past has NO bearing on what my future looks like. I no longer have room for fear of failure in my life and I will reject the spirit of doubt that leaves me hanging in imbalance, afraid to move. I will no longer make apologies for my decision. The Lord my God has called me. Let this be a message that I will stand boldly in my faith and in my decision to go. I will travel the world with my belongings on my back and my faith in my heart, preaching, teaching, loving on people, and using what God has given me to fight with all my might against the principalities of the flesh and the spirit of darkness that has plagued the world and my past.
“My enemy fights against me because he fears me, and every time he reminds me of my past, I WILL remind him of his future.
Every time I speak the truth the strongholds must surrender.
I will make NO excuses, but through every obstacle I will find a way.
I will not procrastinate my progress.
I will not waiver when I am weak.
I will not cower when my circumstances turn for the worst, for greater is He who is in me than who is in the world.
I will pursue, overtake and recover everything that the enemy has come to steal, kill and destroy in my life.
And even if I lose the battle, I will win the war.
The devil is a liar, and my God ALWAYS causes me to triumph through Jesus Christ my Lord.
I am unashamed to represent a kingdom that is unshakable. No one will be able to stand against God’s plans for me all the days of my life.
With my God I will advance against every troop
I will scale every wall
Though my enemy surrounds me
My God surrounds my enemies
Though they come at me one way
They will flee seven ways
I am whole heartedly devoted to the cause God made me for
And I have no intention of letting the world define me because I know who I am.
I will never turn back
I will never give up
I will never settle
I will never stop short
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities nor things present nor things to come nor height nor death nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. And if my God is for me, who can be against me?
I will fight.”
This is not a joke. These are not just words written in some book somewhere. Believe or don’t believe, but I choose Christ.
“I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am.” John Newton
