I don’t open my heart up to men very easily. I’ve never dated anyone; I’ve never even come close actually. And though, just as is universally a woman thing, I long to love and be loved, I’ve also been so cautious as to not allow anyone to really love me. Not because I don’t want to be loved, but because I wouldn’t believe someone if they told me I am worth fighting for everyday.
In a sweeping generalization, I’ve realized that most men have forgotten what it means to actually be a man. Somewhere along the lines, women became objects. Then women started to believe the lie that they are not worth fighting for. So women began to settle for being a moment of temporary affirmation, believing that this is as good as it’s gonna get. Many women stopped holding their male friends to a standard of godly manliness, and many wonderful godly men stopped instilling in their female friends the truth that they are worth fighting for.
A few nights ago, we were having a session of vulnerability as a whole squad during debrief and several women, including myself, admitted, either outwardly or inwardly, this inability to trust that we are worth fighting for. What happened next was probably the most beautiful display of men stepping up to be men that I have witnessed first-hand. Our brothers apologized for the wounds. They apologized for the wounds they had caused women and for the wounds other men had caused us. They told us how they intend to assure us of our worth everyday. They explained how by the end of the Race, they desired that we understood that we are absolutely valuable and worth fighting for and ought to settle for nothing even close to less.
To hear my brothers, my friends, explain with deepest sincerity that we are infinitely worth being loved and treasured was a holy moment. There is no expectation for a relationship beyond friendship. There is no misunderstanding of their intentions. There is simply the assurance from a man of God that we are worth fighting for and we will be fought for.
This was the night I truly learned what it means to be a man.
