Florence is a 30 year old seem-tress i had the privilege to visit with one afternoon, little did i know that i would never be the same after that 2 hour conversation. it wasn’t anything she said that made our time so special, it was how God used florence to wake me up! she works day in and day out sewing clothes on the floor of her living room. .. and there i was sitting on a dirt floor with her and my heart broke. she cant even afford a chair let alone a table and i thought ” im sick, there is something so wrong with this picture, i am on a trip for a year and have more locked up in storage not being used then this women will ever see in her lifetime.” and there it was, starring me right in the face, my revelation… my moment where God wrecked me, and i felt it.. God giving me a decision to make, how will you live your life lauren? what’s really important? will you live to serve? and i realized that this world race trip would only be the very beginning for me… pastor ron always says that God gives us all different prescriptions, and if you try to take someone else’s prescription it just might kill you.. this blog isnt a plea for everyone to uproot their lives and move to africa, i don’t think thats what God wants.. this blog is just to share with yall where i am, and how i am reacting to the things God is showing me.. and he is opening my heart for this entire world, he is giving me a dangerous love for people.. it scares me because its the kind of love that calls for action and it causes you to dream bigger than you ever have.. i knew coming on this trip meant i would see things, and with that comes responsibility. when people would ask me what i was the most afraid of, it was that.. seeing and then going back to the states and not be changed at all.. the dangerous ability to adapt right back into my life forgetting all that i had witnessed.. yesterday was a really rough day for me..we were teaching about 20 four year olds vbs and one little boy came up and sat right on my lap.. as i leaned in to hug him i noticed a white gunk coming out of his ears.. and i was like what on earth? so i asked nomsa one of the swazi women thats been with us all month and she said ohh its a ear infection and i was like hmmm somethings not right.. so i took the little boy to the doctor.. the healthcare here is a joke to say the least.. did you know it cost a women 6 rand to have a baby? thats not even one dollar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyways, i waited with this little boy all day long and we only got the doctor for 5 minutes.. and looking back those 5 minutes went by in slow motion after he told me that this was a common sign in kids that are HIV positive.. i died or went deaf or numb or something.. wait what??? this four year old is HIV positive? no, no, he just has an ear infection… ? right?? i cant explain how i felt in that moment it was unlike anything i have ever experienced.. ughhh and it sucks because when we got here corine told us the startling statics about swaziland and that we were to assume everyone we come into contact with has it.. but to be holding this little boy and hear the doctor say it.. man it just changes everything.. its no longer a statistic.. and in that moment i looked into his little brown eyes and cried and then i got mad.. and ever since i have just been going back and worth between the two.. and this is just one story.. we have been living life with these people for the past month.. we have been hearing their stories and praying over their hurts and pains.. and its absolutely making me a mess.. i don’t ever want to forget about swaziland.
everyday and every hour
you are faithful
