I live in a small town in the foothills of Idaho. Mornings are quiet, the neighbors are family, and the afternoons are lazy. I've lived here my whole life – in the same house for over 20 years. Last night, I was riding my bike out along the canal banks. I got a late start and so the sun was close to going down. As I made my way between the canal and wheat fields, I stopped to take in the sunset. It was… indescribable – one of those, "breathtakingly beautiful" kind of moments.
As I got back on my bike I couldn't help but think about the race. Do I really want to leave this all behind? Do I really want to give up an entire year of my life? That’s an entire year of quiet mornings, lazy afternoons, and gorgeous sunsets – am I crazy? What about my family? My older sister might get married. My younger sister will be starting her first year of college. Mom and Dad will be "empty-nesters".
What about the girls I've coached? What about my friends? What about my church family? What about all the birthdays, holidays, and family events I will miss? What about football, and fiddle week, and the softball season? I'm going to miss a year – an entire year of experiences. And my life here is never going to look the same.
My life here is never going to look the same, and that scares me.
Is it really worth it?
What about all those who live their lives without hope? What about all those stuck in the demeaning cycle of poverty? What about all those who have never heard of Jesus? What about all those who've never been told that they are loved, never been held in someone's arms, and never been given more than a glance?
How can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? Romans 10:14
Do I have to go?
What about that command that Jesus made to his disciples? What about that love that I claim to have for others? What about compassion? What about obedience? What about the gift of life, love, truth, grace, and purpose I've been given?
…Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. 1 Timothy 1:15-16
Do I really want to go?
What about my desire to know Christ – like really know him? What about desire to grow and be challenged? What about my desire for friends who love Jesus and strive to glorify him in everything? What about my love for the people of Honduras? What about my desire to serve others and live a life of action? What about my desire to make God famous?
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 16:24-25
Is it really worth it? Do I have to go? Do I really want to go?
Yes, yes and yes.
It is worth it. Everyone needs to know that they are loved!
I do have to go. I can’t help but tell others about how amazing God is!
I do want to go. I want to know Christ more!
Make no mistake, the "cost" is great, but it's gone the moment that I ponder the reward. Gone. Obliterated. Erased. If I can give up one year of my life at "home", so that another person might know hope and live eternally, it's worth every second.
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