Our first month of ministry ended yesterday. We said our goodbyes and prayed over the church and our contacts, then stuffed nineteen people into a fifteen-passenger van and made our way to Fajardo. After driving for two hours, we unloaded, got into pairs and waited on the beach while our guides equipped us with oars, life jackets, and kayaks.
Then, we began to kayak into the ocean toward a river leading into a bay. With the waves pushing us back toward the shore, maintaining control was hard at first, but we were able to make it to the entrance. As we entered into the dark overgrown, cave-like river, my heart leapt with excitement.
The river was narrow and at times it was so dark that all I could see was Liz, my kayak buddy, and the tip on the kayak in front of us.
All we could do was take the next oar stroke and follow the directions of the guide as he called them out through the darkness. Had we attempted to go our own way, we could have run into the trees on the side or the oncoming motorboats trolling through the darkness around us.
As we began to get closer and disturb the water in the bay, it began to sparkle. WE rounded a corner and suddenly we found ourselves in the midst of the bay.
After a brief lesson on the history and science of the plankton that cause the bioluminescence, Liz and I pulled away from the rest of the group and took it all in.
As I sat there, soaked, under the Puerto Rican stars, I ran my hands through the glowing water and I felt the glory of God. I felt the peace of God. I felt the love of God. And I heard Him speak over me, “ I’m going to break you this year.”
“I’m going to break your heart this year, but I've given you everything that you need in order to make it through. I’m going to lead you into the darkness and you're going to have to listen to my voice. I’m going to keep you from things that will hurt you if you keep your eyes fixed on what I've put in front of you. I’m going to lead you into something extravagant, into something dangerous, into something that you will never fully be able to describe or comprehend because it is so beautiful. I’m going to disturb the depths of your heart and awaken you to life. I’m going to make you shine in the most beautiful way.”
My heart so desires to be like that plankton. I want to be so sensitive to the Spirit, that His any movement stirs my whole being and ignites something beautiful that affects those around me. I want to shine for Him and respond with the very moment that He nudges me.
So here's to whatever He has for me and wherever He calls me. I'm all in.
