Today was a really difficult day for me. I joined my family in saying goodbye to my grandma. I've never had to watch someone I care for deeply struggle so much as my grandma did, but I know she has seen the glory of God and no longer suffers from her earthly pains. Grandma Dorothy was quite the woman. As a child, I referred to her as "Boss" and from that title, you can only guess what kind of household she ran. Growing up during the Great Depression, my grandmother learned what it meant to save and use one's resources well. She married a World War II tank mechanic and they subsequently had three children, one of them being my mom. Grandma earned her teaching certificate from the same college where I just graduated from two weeks ago, so being a UNI Panther runs deep in my family!
This past Thursday, we held a wake service for her. For three hours, a steady stream of people came to pay their respects to my grandma and my family, and amazingly, a good majority of the visitors were students my grandma taught 50 or so years ago! What a legacy to have! Seeing all of the people there made me think of my own funeral someday. Will anyone show up to pay homage to the life I led? Was it a life that should be respected? Am I making a lasting impact for His kingdom, so that one day my Savior will say to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant!"? (Matthew 25:21)
Death makes you ponder over these sorts of questions. It forces you to realize how short life truly is. My pride catches up to me often, for I think,
"I'm only 22! What can possibly happen to me at this young age?"
I hate to be the bearer of sad news, but ANYTHING can happen. My life is not in my hands. It is in the hands of the One who created me. So even though I am at the budding age of 22, I need to start living my life for eternal merit, and not for worldly things, which will surely pass away. That is the way my grandma walked this earth; she lived life to the fullest to the Savior who loaned her that life. For that is what our lives are–a precious GIFT.
A couple of weeks ago, I performed a dance I choreographed to called, "This Is Not The End" by Gungor. God laid it on my heart to compose a worshipful piece to Him, so I selected this beautiful song. The lyrics couldn't ring more true for me than right now. "This is not the end of us. We will shine like the stars, bright, brighter."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5Cjt83wWDk
So, it is not goodbye, Grandma. It is, "I'll see you real soon, Boss."
