One of my best friends sent me a message the other day. She was in need of encouragement in the relationship area. And it’s the sort of advice I can credibly give her since she’s single, just like me.
She wrote, “Can you remind me that my man is out there? I know he is, but I need the reassurance.”
As a single woman, I can completely relate to her anxiety. While all of your friends have gotten married and are in the midst of having kids, you feel stuck, well-aware of the truth that you have absolutely no control of your future. You wait for the day you say, “I do”, when you will finally be able to walk down the aisle, arm-in-arm with your new spouse. That moment seems lightyears away, and the process to getting there is to simply wait for the right guy or girl to come along. And my goodness, that time can be a slow and lonely process…
Now I’m not here to dampen your spirits or make you feel bad for us relationally-single individuals, but I am here to call out those who put singleness into a formidable box. Since when did singleness get a reputation for being a “lonely time” of one’s existence? Who said that singleness was a stage of “waiting”? I say pish-posh to whomever said that or believes it to be true.
I’m not waiting for my man.
And I hope he’s not waiting for me to start living his life. I hope my future husband is adventuring right now. I hope he’s traveling and seeing the world and the beautiful things it has to offer. I hope he’s giving back to the world by being a good steward of his love, money, time, and talents. I hope he is serving those around him to the best of his ability and showing grace to those who need it. I hope he’s challenging himself to be more and more like Jesus everyday.
I want him to do these things because I am striving to do these things. I am living each day with a hunger that can only be quenched by following Christ and His example.
I’ve heard too many 20- to 30-year olds tell me they are “just waiting” to get married. Instead of looking at it like it’s a dreaded line at the amusement park, turn your waiting into simply living! Your life doesn’t revolve around the relational status in which you happen to be. Make your life the most exuberant one you could possibly lead by doing as Christ did with his time on earth.
Singleness isn’t a stage of waiting or a time to be lonely. Frankly, it’s neither a “stage” nor a “time”; it’s your life. And it doesn’t start when you meet your special someone.
A great pastor of an influential church said it well with this statement:
“No one in history has left a more significant legacy than Jesus, yet he never had a wife, kids, or sex. His life was meaningful–and single.”
It’s time to realize you have been given this one life, this one chance to run with confidence toward the prize of living like Jesus lived.
So do it.
P.S. This blog is not just for my fellow single friends. This is also for the readers who find that they aren’t really content with the circumstances of life in which they find themselves. Whether it’s being caught in a boring job and desiring a more gratifying occupation; yearning to have kids because it just feels like it’s the next step after you’ve walked down the aisle, or even the pressure to be something or someone you’re not.
If you’re walking within His will, He’s got you right where you’re supposed to be. He only has good for you!
