They say you’ll experience brokenness on the Race. Brokenness from meeting broken people; brokenness from seeing broken homes and communities. But nothing can prepare you for brokenness you will feel from following Christ.
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I stepped off the plane in Dublin, Ireland ready to take on month 8. B Squad had just finished five long, hot months in Asia. I walked outside to breathe in the chilly, crisp air of Ireland and looked around to take in the green grass! (Grass is a scarce thing in Asia!) I couldn’t believe I had finally made it to this bountiful country. Ireland was the reason I signed up for the route I did. I knew this would be an amazing month because it was, well, Ireland.
A couple of days into our month, we met with the pastor of Causeway Coast Vineyard, the church we were partnering with that month. He talked to us about the mission statement and theology Vineyard stands by and how they operate as a church. Simply listening to this pastor pumped me up for ministry. I was willing to take on the jobs no one else wanted, because I wholeheartedly believed in what this Church stood for. They asked the hard questions like, “If a church disappeared from a town, would the community even notice?” and “Where do you find your identity?”
The next day, our teams had the privilege of meeting with Mark Marx, a renowned evangelist known for his gift of healing. He taught us about praying powerful prayers with authority, for if we have a clear understanding of Jesus, we know our identity, thus we have authority. My journal held commentaries filled with wonder and awe at what God was going to do this month.
Just days after this insightful meeting, I woke up one morning to discover I had lice. The dreaded parasite found a home in my long, golden locks. I couldn’t believe I got them in one of my favorite countries! I thought, “Surely after Africa and Asia, I’ll be in the clear!” But those little bugs took root in my roots.
As my squad mate laboriously picked through my hair, I silently cried and asked God “Why?! Why is this happening to me?” I felt so broken and dirty. I felt like the leper of the squad. I was afraid they wouldn’t want to touch me in fear of the lice spreading to their hair. Little did I know, lice held a deeper meaning than just their physical presence.
I realized that each louse symbolized a lie in my heart that I had been listening to for far too long.
Lies that hiss “You are not worthy.”
Lies that jeer “You do not have a voice.”
Lies that taunt “You are not bold.”
Lies that tease “You are not beautiful.”
Whenever people begin experiencing break through, that is the precise moment the enemy launches his lie-infested grenades.
It’s one thing to say you know who Christ is, but it’s an entirely different playing field when you wholeheartedly know who Jesus says He is. It’s Truth that cannot be pierced with even the sharpest sword. I was uncovering the great Truths of Christ and my identity when I discovered I had lice.
Just like my squad mates picked the lice and nits out of my hair, Jesus had to go through my heart and pick out lies I was believing about myself. I had forgotten my identity and who Christ says I am in Him. I had to have the physical presence of lice to take the blinders off of my eyes and focus on Christ and all that He has for me. I had to be absolutely broken in order for Christ to pick me back up and gently whisper, “My Daughter, why have you been believing a voice that doesn’t love you? Run to me with your troubles, dear one.”
Through the sacrifice of Christ, I know I am worthy. I do have a voice. I am bold. I am beautiful.
However, I’m not these things because I say I am.
I am these things because Christ says I am.
I am these things and more because Christ declares me holy and pure before a Holy and Pure God.
I am one of His own.
What lies have you been believing about yourself? Perhaps we should start listening to the voice that belongs to the God who actually loves us!
“My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, you will not despise.”
~Psalm 51:17
My super, awesome team mates from my first team, Lion Seekers! These gals stayed up late with me after ministry to pick out lice. So thankful for them.
Apparently, mayonnaise suffocates lice! So that night, I went to bed smelling like a sandwich.
