I graduated high school AND turned 18….plus I helped run a major garage sale fundraiser (60% where ya at).
From point of last blog post to now, I was sadly mistaken by believing that life would turn itself around. As I’ve thought on the topic, I realized that there’s often more confidence in my writing than there is in reality so I felt I owed you a little truth. and a little heart.
There is no shame in the suffering.
We were created, built, constructed to feel. Feelings aren’t supposed to be dismissed, even the negative ones. Jesus isn’t here to sugarcoat it, He’s here to empathize, to care, to help and to heal. He’s here to show us that while pain is real, so is hope. We gain our strength from facing and overcoming, not from burying.
In preparation for the race, I’ve done a lot of soul searching. Praying for the courage to fight the battles as they come while I’m overseas. Praying that I would be able to face the pain with ease. Praying that I would be able to love better after having experienced. Praying that I can connect and plant seeds using my stories and my scars.
I remember that He doesn’t say “be strong”, He says “be still”.
Sometimes life throws things our way, and other times, it full on picks it up and chunks it into the dead center of your glass window dreams. There’s nothing inspiring about it. The power is in the comeback and the hope.
So here’s to being an 18 year old…because in 24 hours, I’ve already learned a couple of things.
1. I did not win the lottery. (It’s okay. Kinda.)
2. Distractions are just that. Jesus is a better option when dealing with pain.
Currently, I’m fresh-starting. I’m also learning to be grateful for the patience of true friends and the love of Christ.
SIDENOTE THERE IS UNDER 80 DAYS UNTIL TRAINING CAMP IM READY
It’s taken multiple nights and one too many bags of dark chocolate chips, but I think Bible study might actually be making a dent in this hard head of mine.
Jesus, flood it. I’m ready.
