Lauren: Every time I get on the ferry to go to Asia from Istanbul, I get a cheap espresso to warm me up in the cool balcony above. I’m ordering my espresso, and in the corner of my eye, I see a leathery brown arm. Her voice screeched like nails on a chalk board. She handed the man behind the counter money. I could clearly translate that she always steals from him and asks for things in “Allah’s name” so he wasn’t going to give her anything. She starts screaming and in order to not make a scene, he handed her some orange crisp cookies. After making my perfect espresso… that was watery and machine made, I started making my way to the balcony. In order to get there, I had to pass her. Looking into her eyes, I could see purple perfect make-up. She was four foot tall and nothing nice about her. So I thought I’ll smile at her to make her feel better, like I do to countless strangers. But this time it was surely different. First she yelped. Like a howling wolf being stabbed in the shoulder. AND THEN out of nowhere, she started punching my elbow; anywhere from five to ten times. (Since coming on the race, I think I’ve become a passivise, not weak, but instead of fighting, I flight). So what do I do next? I start running up the stairs, hoping she wouldn’t keep howling and following me.
Danielle: I’m sitting peacefully, with the rest of my team, watching the seagulls and the waves crash against the side of the boat. Lauren comes up with a dreadful look of terror in her eyes. She is out of breath as she shares with us the terrible ordeal of how she courageously attempted to smile at an elderly woman downstairs. She described a discombobulated old woman with mismatching …everything, but perfect make-up.
Lauren: As I’m trying to calm down but I can’t. I simply can’t get over how many crazy things happen to me. I thought it might help to test out my new harmonica that I had bought earlier that day. But no matter where I turned I was haunted by BIRDSSSSS… (THANKS MOTHER). The wind changed and it became sooo cold, so D and I decided to go downstairs to be rescued from the birds, the wind, and also to get a better look at the amazing jellyfish.
Danielle: Standing in the middle of the boat by the exit ramp, there are at least 15 pews on each side filled with people facing us. Lauren begins serenading the pews of people. It’s her first time with her harmonica and she is already performing in front of at least 50 innocent Turkish bystanders.
Lauren: Carelessly standing there, maybe to catch a glimpse of a school of dolphins. I finally begin to relax, after a long days work. Not a worry on my mind.
Danielle: I’m enjoying the view, listening to Lauren’s new found love, when all of the sudden there is a glare off the window. Dun dun duuuunnnnnn… I turn slightly and see the exact description of the old woman Lauren had just told us about. She appeared to be minding her own business and walking past us. So I turned back toward the sea, and immediately out of nowhere, the woman is right upon us! There is a leathery brown, clawed, out-stretched hand, winding past her rigged body, reaching out for Lauren’s butt! As I see the hand coming, I use my expert black belt, ole faithful, karate chop to make an interception between her hand and the butt. But what was driving her was more than human strength, and all that I had came to no avail.
Lauren: DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN I stand there without a clue, enjoying my professional harmonica playing. I feel a slap and a poke of a cold something in my butt crack! Her hand was literally in my butt crack! It caught me off guard more than I have ever have been in my lifetime! I turn around to her opened mouth (that consisted of four teeth but still very lion like) and her evil twitching eyes. I scream, she howls the most wretched scream, and she wouldn’t stop! Paralyzed I didn’t know what to do, looking around at all the people in the pews starring at me like I’m the crazy lady. I’m faced with a choice: Run, or knock her out. I run, screaming for Matt. As I turn back, seeing Katie, my leader, with her jaw dropped.
Danielle: So as my faithful teammate leaves me (Lauren SAYS in her defense “She’s the one with the black belt”) all alone with the crazy lady, who is reaching around me with her claws, I don’t know what to do. All of my defenses have failed me. She is yelling at me, making howls as she begins beating me with MY rolled up newspaper. I look around for help from all the people sitting there watching as if all this was simply a TV show! No help comes. I have no choice but to run, hoping that she doesn’t pounce on me as I turn my back to her……………………………………………………………………………………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Matt comes to the rescue.
We go and tell the story to our other teammates just as Matt comes to the rescue. We all laugh in disbelief of what just happened. We came to the conclusion that it was the Jesus in us that made the demon in her come out. Once off the boat, Matt and David find her and ask to pray for her. She simply smiles, does a “Jezebel dance”, and walks away.
