Off to launch I go! Open Letter to Pre-Race Self.
So here I sit. In less than a week I will be on a plane with my teammates headed to Bulgaria!! This is a pretty surreal feeling. I remember sitting on my bed at school, filling out the application and daydreaming if this dream would ever come true. With the application alone; I felt like I already had a lot going against me. Sharing the dark parts of my life, writing down the parts of my life that I’ve felt so much shame. Then sharing my story of redemption. Writing down how the Lord pursued after my heart and changed my life.
I had little confidence that I would get accepted. My thoughts, “Even if I did get accepted,how would I raise all the money to go?” Its pretty incredible how life goes. I ended up getting accepted.. well obviously lol and somehow at this point with the Lord, have been able to raise enough funds to launch. In all honesty, I never thought I would get this far. I guess I had little faith in my Creator and little confidence in myself.
We have been assigned to write an open letter to our pre race self. It could be anything from our dreams, thoughts, prayers, hopes, questions and even if we named our pack! This letter I really want to be intentional with what I say. I know in 11 months when I read it, it will probably mean a lot to my post race self. So here it goes.
Dear Prelaunch Self,
Woahhh!! It is two days before launch and you are feeling stressed, sad, happy, excited and above all, in shock that THIS is really happening. YOU MADE IT TO LAUNCH!!! I knew you could do it. I am proud of you. I know it was a lot of hard work and trust to get here.
You are about to leave for nearly a year and aren’t sure what to expect. You are a little scared of what’s to come and who you may become. You are nervous and sad to leave behind your family, friends and a pretty amazing guy. You’ve sacrificed a lot to be here. You know that. You know its something you need to do because it will be so worth it. You are turning 24 tomorrow!!!! Yipppee!! You are pumped because who doesn’t love birthdays? You are also so worried about what life is going to be like when you return from the trip. You’ll be almost 25 and you are worried about where you will live, where you will work, will you go back to school, if you’ll be able to still have that amazing guy and if you’ll have a stable life.
Slowww down girl. Its time to relax and time to enjoy the ride. Easier said then done, yes. Remember this trip is journey to discover who you are in Christ, to serve and love like Him.
“We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the hopeless… We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we are called home.”
You love this quote. You love to love. You love to serve others. This is your time to commit to that.
First, you need to work on some self confidence and self love. Its hard to love others when sometimes you have a hard time loving yourself. You can do that by seeking the Lord and finding who you are in Him. I know this is a struggle for you. This journey will help you. You know it. Once you have confidence in yourself and in Christ, things will get easier and you’ll be less stressed about your future.
There will be good days and there will be bad days on the race. Living in intense Christian community will be such a fun and good thing for you. However, you know there will be times you’ll want to go for a run and do your own thing, except you may not be able to. In those times embrace the community you are in. You won’t have it forever and you’ll miss it when its gone.
Take some risks, be bold and like mom says, “you don’t always have to go first.”
When else in your life will you have the chance to live outside the United States for a year? Eat weird food even if its questionable.. within reason, sing and public speak in front of people, bungee jump, swim with sharks, share your faith, share your story and freely be yourself.
Grow in your faith. Sometimes you have little faith. You underestimate who God is. Its time to change that. I want you to read the word everyday, learn more about your Creator to the point no one can shake your faith and love for Christ. I want you so in love with Christ that you can’t go a day without seeking Him, depending on Him and reading His word.
HAVE FUN!!! Go out there and live it up. This time is precious and these memories will last a lifetime. Don’t be afraid to be silly, weird or say something you think others will think is odd. Say it! Be yourself, be goofy, be weird and have fun.
Alright Prelaunch Self. These are my hopes for your upcoming year. Always remember Christ is living within you! In hard times, homesickness, difficulties and when you are weak, then you are strong ( 2 Cor 12:10). In times where things happen and you just don’t understand or can’t comprehend; trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). You, Lauren Louise Burns, have the freedom from sin, shame and future and past mistakes! (2 Cor 3 :17) Never forget that you are loved and have been chosen for this (1 Peter 2:9).
You got this girl!
Love,
Your Prelaunch Self
