Let’s be still.
Can you feel your heart beat? Can you feel your chest rise and fall with every breath you take? Listen to to your surroundings. Is it busy with the sounds of people and cars whizzing by? Is it calm and silent, only the sound of your cat sleeping next to you? Can you feel the presence of love? Can you feel the presence of God?
Most of my days are a constant hustle and bustle about. I’m always rushing to my next task or to the next destination on my schedule. I’m always conscious of the time and most days feel anxiety over the tick of the clock.
So what’s the deal with time anyway? I truly think that time is running my life. Time is money. Time is wasted. Wasting time. Spending time. Time these days is seen as some kind of currency that can never be paid back. But why? I am constantly obsessing over time. People say appreciate the little things… Take the time to smell the roses. Are those the little things? If you stop for a moment and take a deep breath and forget about time, everything seems so simple.
I’ve been learning that life is all the little things strung together. Happiness IS the little things. Happiness for me is to take time out of the picture. Not worrying about being at point A or point B at X time or having X things done by X time. When you step back, see your day in a different light and look at life without this hustle, I’ve found I’m a happier person. When I take the time out of my day; when I just am, I am happy. I feel the presence of God, when I’m “smelling the roses”, genuinely asking my friends how they are doing and really listening. the smells of my house after my roommates cook, the feeling of driving with the windows down, the excited feeling I get when my best friend calls, blaring Taylor Swift with my best friends, dancing around my living room on Galentines day with my girlfriends, being there for a shoulder to cry on. These moments for me are what God is about. When I feel the love, share laughter, cherish moments, when I experience the world without time, and appreciate all the little things, God is there.
Looking back at the moment after I started thinking over this concept of time. It was almost three years ago and I was at an orphanage for children affected by HIV/AIDS in Honduras. This particular night at the orphanage we had a bon fire and cooked smores. After we all had the delicious sugary smores most of the children and volunteers were running around chasing each other and being crazy! Except for one girl. I forget her name unfortunately but I’ll never forget her face., her laugh and how she changed my life.
She had some sort of condition which restricted her to life in a wheelchair. After I chased around a few children, I stopped for some air right next to her. I looked at her just sitting there in her wheel chair and giggling at all the silly children and volunteers zooming by. She was so content and what seemed to be use to being sedentary. She was joyful just watching the other children run and play. I gazed at her a little longer and it hit me. I didn’t know spanish but I knew how to say run. So I looked at her and said “Carrera?” with a questioning look on my face, asking her if she wanted to run. She looked at me with the biggest smile and closed both her eyes and nodded her head excitedly. So I went behind her, grabbed both handles of her wheelchair and ran. I ran as fast as I could with her until we reached the other side of the orphanage. As I ran I could hear her laugh and yell with excitement and I swear I could feel her smiling. Just writing about it makes my heart fill with so much joy. I ran her up and down and up and down the yard at least 10 times until my legs shook. I remember the cool air blowing on us as we ran. I remember the light from the bon fire illuminating the yard and I can see the other children running after us. When we finally stopped, I put my hands on my knees and breathed hard right next to her. I took a look left to see how she was doing as she sat in her chair. She was just staring at the lawn in front of us with this gaze of joy that I will never forget. Her mouth was an open smile and her eyes were fixated on the lawn like someone caught gazing off thinking. It was at that moment I felt so alive. I felt like nothing was wrong in the world and I felt the presence of the Lord so alive in me. I felt like nothing else mattered besides us running up and down that lawn. It was then a seed was planted in my heart.
A simple run up and down the lawn of an orphanage and the sweetest little girl showed me the meaning of my life. This may seem very cliche to say and the story may even seem cheesy. Regardless, the moment is still very alive in my heart and I yearn for moments like this every single day. I found the secret of having moments like this, when I truly feel the presence of God; is letting go of the time. I’m not saying just forget any agenda you have and just hang out all day. I guess I’m saying, I find happiness and I find God when I make any moment the little things. When I acknowledge God for all the moments not just the little moments. Of course I’m not by any means perfect and I still sometimes find it hard to forget about the time and acknowledge God. When I look back at that moment of the sound of her laughter while we ran, it just gives me so much hope. It makes me realize life is so simple if we stop focusing on the hustle and bustle and look at the hustle and bustle with a different perspective. A different, but brighter perspective that includes love, appreciation and delighting in God in any moment.
The World Race for me is a challenge to be with God; in His presence, appreciating all His wonders, all the devastation and the beauty that I will encounter. I want to be and share the light in the dark moments and see the beauty of the hustle and bustle. I hope to learn from others just who God is and how I can be used by Him. I want to help. I want to serve. I want to have my heartbroken to know God and the world better. I want to be broken, I want to be lifted and filled with crazy joy. I want to be challenged. I want to be the hands and feet of Christ. I can only hope for more moments like these, constantly making me feel so alive with the presence of God and delighting in every moment. Let’s stop time and delight in God together.
