All That I Am
I left.
Ten months ago, I packed my 50lb pack and got on a plane to Bulgaria.
Looking back, that seems like an eternity ago. A flood of memories fill my mind as I ponder over the last 10 months I’ve spent around the world. Faces, landscapes, laughter, struggles, sunsets, empanadas, star-filled skies, children, and holding my teammates hands in prayer. These past ten months have been some of the greatest days of my 24 years but they have also been some of the toughest.
The reality of The World Race is that it’s not just a Christian trip to see the world and help others. It is a trip that has challenged me beyond measure, has made me question my beliefs and many aspects of my life and the world as I knew it. It has been a trip that has made me feel so exhausted, drained and heartbroken, but also alive and joyous, all in one.
What a trip right? People have asked me this question: “If you could change anything you’ve done in the past 10 months, would you?” Of course my initial answer is yes – I wouldn’t have gotten Malaria, or E Coli or gotten bitten by that dog running on the beach. Haha. I’ve thought about this question quite a bit.
In these past ten months I’ve worked harder, I’ve loved harder, laughed harder and cried harder than I ever have. I have appreciated more, given more, shared more, sacrificed more and have been more thankful than I ever thought possible.
In a sense, you could say, I’ve given it my all these past ten months. Yes, there were days that I would wake up wanting home, wanting more sleep, wanting a warm shower, wanting different food, but the goal of my life this year was not to be comfortable. The reality is that this year was a chance to give the world, people, and God all that I had.
So, back to the question, would I change anything about the past 10 months?
I can now boldly and honestly answer by saying I wouldn’t change a thing; Malaria and all.
I’ve learned and experienced so much.
I have given my all.
Yes, I miss home, but that doesn’t change where I am and who I am with. No matter how hard of a day I’ve had, how others have pushed my buttons or whether I’ve been challenged or encouraged, I know my hard work has had a purpose – in this world or the next.
I’ve met an incredible amount of people that have impacted my life, my faith and my heart. I just hope there is a chance I’ve done the same for others.
As I finish my last days in Peru, I am leaving with an ocean of thankfulness.
This past week I’ve been powerfully hit by how thankful I am for my family and how blessed I’ve been to have the people in my life God has given me.
I can’t thank my parents, siblings, and grandparents enough for all of their constant love and support. They have sincerely given me so, so much. I’ve given so much of myself this year, but I’ve received so much more.
I’ve come to realize, the more you give of yourself, the more you are able to see what has been given to you.
If you work hard, love hard and give hard, the reward is so much sweeter than you could ever imagine.
