I’ve always been a worrier. Someone who overanalyzes every situation and picks out every little detail to stress out and obsess over. So it’s been a real trip being here in Cambodia, where I have no choice but to lean on God’s perfect plan and trust that He’s guiding me as I go.
My team and I have been at our ministry site for almost a week now, and I love it! We’re living and working at a prevention home for girls ages 5-14. Here, the girls have the opportunity to go to school and learn English, along with other skills that will keep them off the streets and out of the hands of traffickers. Many of the girls were brought to this home by their mothers, because they had fathers or uncles who would have sold them into prostitution.
There are about 30 girls in the home, and we all share space and one bathroom, so it’s definitely been a learning experience living in such close community!
The girls are absolutely beautiful. They are so selfless and generous with their time and their meager belongings. The first morning we were here, we sat outside for a while getting acquainted with the house moms as best we could, and one of the girls wouldn’t let go of my hand. She had a tiny blue plastic ring on her finger. I told her it was pretty, and without a thought, she took it off and put it on my pinkie. She has wiggled her way into my heart with her constant smiles, hugs, kisses and squeezes.
I worried about so many things as we flew over the ocean, not knowing what to expect, but God has proven himself to be completely faithful in every situation:
I stress out over finances, and the church home of my fully funded teammate sends her an e-mail asking where they can give to help our team.
Tears pool at the corners of my eyes at the thought of not being able to communicate with my family and friends, and God provides a ministry site with lots of free time and an internet café within walking distance.
A feeling of dread fills my stomach as I consider what might show up on my plate, and the house moms fix us chicken or quail and rice with bananas or cauliflower or green beans. A delicious, ready-to-eat pineapple costs 25 cents on the street.
Every fear and doubt I’ve encountered along the way, God met and overcame with His strength. He is proving to me in every moment that He is sovereign over my life, and I can trust Him in everything. Since I’ve been here, I’ve felt a beautiful sense of belonging. A peace that passes all understanding has come into my heart, a reassurance that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.
And it feels good.
If you don’t have that feeling of joyful contentment in your life right now, I would challenge you to ask yourself if something needs to change. I’ve been struggling with the realization that basically, when I worry, I’m saying that somewhere deep down, I don’t believe that God is sovereign over my life. When I let fears weigh me down, I’m saying that God isn’t big enough to take care of my every need in His perfect timing. Of course I would never actually speak those words, because I know in my heart that God is greater than anything in this world. He has created us to be people of joy, free from worries and doubts and fears, clinging to His hand and walking beside Him each day.
This is my prayer for all of you, my family, friends, supporters, and encouragers: that you would walk in the peace and joy God has for you in this moment. Don’t worry about tomorrow or stress out over yesterday. The Lord has beautiful plans for His children, and we can rest easy in the power of His purpose, rejoicing in His incredible goodness.
Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers!
