I left home this morning for four months. Approximately 124 days away from the places and people I’ve known all my life. I’m leaving the familiar, giving up the ordinary, exploding out of my comfort zone, venturing off into a world of brokenness and wonder. And I’m going to let you in on a little secret.
I’m scared.
It was harder than I expected to get on that plane. I feel like there are so many things about this trip that I don’t know and can’t explain. That’s tough for a Type A planner like me! I’m not sure if I packed correctly, enough or way too much. I have no idea where I’ll be staying when I arrive on the other side of the world. I don’t even know what time my flight leaves in the morning for Phnom Penh!
The thing that scares me most is that I’m not in control.
But you know, that fact also excites me. I’m leaving home on a journey that will test me in every way possible, and I have no choice but to trust that this is what God has called me to, and He will be with me, preparing the path for me even when I can’t see it. He is my Shepherd, my lamp, and my delight. My job is to take His hand, lean into Him, and have faith in His perfect will for my life. I can’t wait to see what that kind of radical trust looks like and evokes in my soul.
I’m so thankful for all those I said good bye to these past few days, all those who continue to support me emotionally, financially, and spiritually, all those who are thinking of me and praying with me during this amazing adventure. Goodbyes are never easy, but I realized this morning that the ones I found most difficult, the ones that still tug at my heart, are those I’m not sure will still be there in May. My dog, Jingle. My amazing grandparents. A friend who’s moving to Canada this summer. Another I’m just beginning to know but already feel so close to. The beautiful thing is that God loves them even more than I do, and I can trust Him to take care of us no matter what.
Taking a step of faith is amazing because, even though it’s hard, it gives God the opportunity to show up and show off His incredible goodness. When I think about the way He loves us and desires good for our lives, I can’t help but be excited for everything He has in store for me and for everyone I feel like I’m leaving behind. He has great and beautiful plans for these next four months! I’m thankful that He is with us always, wherever we are, even 8,000 miles away from one another.
As I wave, hug, and say goodbye, I also move forward and greet others. I’ll be reunited with my team in a few short hours, and my entire being craves their community and shared passion. I can’t wait to see these amazing women who will become my family for a semester. I’m so proud of each one of us, and I know God is going to use us to accomplish miraculous things.
Several people have asked me to post prayer requests, so here goes!
First, I am still in need of some money for the trip. The Lord brought in $6,300 in the past few months, and I am so grateful for the generosity I have witnessed. By the end of January, I need to raise another thousand dollars. I have no doubt the money will come in, because we serve a faithful provider God!
Second, please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers. I can’t imagine how it feels to have your only daughter, sister, etc… leave home for such a long time with uncertain communication abilities and scarce trip details. My parents have been real troopers through this process, and I’m honored to have them behind me. I believe that just as I am called to pursue this mission, they have also been called to this season of life, and I pray God gives them peace and comfort.
Third, pray for focus and unity as a team and as a squad. I have chosen not to bring my cell phone on this trip because distracted people miss opportunities. To be as effective as possible in ministry, I need to be present where I am and focused on the reasons I followed God’s leading to serve those caught up in human trafficking. I know there will be days I regret my decision, but I believe it was the right one, and I pray God uses the absence as a teaching tool.
To contact me, you can send facebook messages or e-mail me at [email protected]. I also have Skype, so look me up! I will have fairly frequent internet access while I’m away, and of course I would LOVE to hear from you!
Until next time… peace out and God bless.
