Mission trip mindset – love without expectation of being loved back. Its a common thought process. It clearly states in the Bible that we will encounter opposition with people we share Christ with at times. While this is the reality in some cases and places, I think that its an unfair assumption to label all across the board. Why? Because I have been loved back by the ones I was sent to love.
Month two as I have shared was spent at Mission of Hope Haiti. An organization I have served with before prior to my time on the race, but this time my stay with them was quite different than my previous visits, and honestly it was the best one so far. A normal time with MOH is a 7 day stay that involves time spent in a local village, talking and praying with people, playing with kids, a two day work project in that village, etc. Well on the race as you know we stay in a place for approximately one month. MOH loves to use us World Racers to their full capacity while they have us so we set in to do work projects. My heart was a little sore because I had never spent so much time on the campus. I was used to getting ready to leave for the day after breakfast and head out to the villages.
However, as sore as my heart was I knew that I had to trust the Lord with HIS plan for the month. I know there is so much more to missions and ministry than just going out to the villages and streets. MOH needed some tender loving care and I was quickly given a joy to serve the staff and organization in whatever way they needed. Oh if I only knew what was coming.
Part of MOH is the orphanage they have on campus. They currently house around 60 kids ages 4-18. Whats different about MOH is that they don’t adopt the kids out. Meaning the kids stay there until they are old enough and ready to be sent out into the surrounding communities as young men and women who know and love the Lord and long to see their country come to know the love and hope and salvation of Jesus.
A few of the teenage girls I had met over times I had visited before and they remembered me and quickly wanted to become better friends.
(A quick sidenote – Children in orphanges more often than not struggle with issues of abandonment and rejection so getting close to them and building trust can be difficult. Imagine seeing people come and go all of the time in and out of your life. You would be a little salty about it too.)
So some of the girls opened up quickly, while others were sassy, or would just plain ignore me. (You have to learn to not let that go to your heart……at first it was tough for me because all I wanted to do was love them, but then I had a mind shift and realized why they don’t like getting close to people, so I no longer took it personal.) I found myself excited more and more for each day that I could finish work and go and spend time with them. Most of the time we just sat around and talked and laughed. Sometimes we would sing, they would do my hair (which hurt so bad). My heart was just for them to know that they are SO LOVED. That they are treasured and valued by their Heavenly Father who knit them together, that He cares about even the smallest detail of their lives.
What I wasn’t ready for was how they would love on me.
My mind is more often than not, making sure others are taken care of, making sure others are loved. I have friends tell me sternly that I am not good at taking care of myself or letting people love on me. Its true. Its the weirdest thing for me. I don’t know what to do when it happens. Its awkward of awkwards for me. Thankfully Jesus is making sure that I know that not only is it ok for others to love on me, but that I am worth loving on.
I began to realize how these girls would come up to me and hold my hands or put their arm around me as we walked (Haitians are super affectionate and I love it) because they were expressing love for me. They wanted to spend time with me and ask me how I was doing because they loved me. They showered me with encouragement and gifts as I left, giving love to me.
Now I know that it was the Lord faithfully loving on me through these precious kids (Such an awesome pouring out and being replenished) but I wasn’t expecting it. Yes things can get so tough in ministry or missions. Yes we can be in places we aren’t loved or received. However its not every place. The Lord knows our every need and is incredibly faithful to provide what we need when we need it. Even if its as simple as being loved back.
