As I am entering into the last month of the race I am often asked the question “So what’s next after the race?” I have received this question periodically over the last few months. I have answered it with just as much certainty as I do right now. The answer is (drumroll)
I don’t know.
Guess what? I am ok with that.
And well that’s technically true. I do have a direction for the immediate season when I return to the states. For starters I am not returning directly to Florida (although the majority of me wants to). Prior to training camp my car completely died, which worked out great considering I left in January and had no need of it for a year. Yet currently I find myself car-less when I land in the USA, which makes traveling where I want to slightly difficult.
When I arrive back in the US my location will be deep in the heart of Texas. Tyler Texas to be exact. My Dad, Mom, Sister and Brother have all currently re-located to Tyler and due to being away for a year they have graciously carried my belongings with them.
I knew that my family was moving to Tyler, Texas prior to launching on the race. I already knew that I would want to see them and spend time with them but because all of my energy and emotions were poured into preparing to leave for a year, it really didn’t sink in until month 9 in Thailand that things will be different when I return and that I needed to prepare to maybe, possibly land in Tyler for longer than I expected.
Florida is home to me. The beaches and salty Gulf of Mexico are a huge part of me. I have AMAZING friends and community that have supported me on this journey, and I have been so excited to get back and see them, hug them, laugh with them. You know, do life with them. But it was in Thailand that the reality of Florida not being the place where I land immediately on my return hit me.
And it hit hard.
The World Race has been amazing, challenging, joyful, depressing, all of the ups and downs and I would absolutely do it over again. However there are some things that get old. One being the constant switch/whiplash of jumping to a place that’s unfamiliar, a new culture (that includes all sorts of new rules, dos, and don’ts), language, everything. Do I shake your hand or do I bow? Do I really have to eat all of this on my plate? What do I do with my feet? When I realized I wouldn’t be returning immediately back to a place that was fully comfortable and familiar to me, I was slightly upset. At first all I could see was my unmet expectations for (selfishly) my life post race.
Moving on to where I stand with my “what’s next.” The Lord spoke to me at the beginning of the race that I wouldn’t know what was “next” for life after the race until I had returned. Which I was ok with. So much of this year has been about me discovering areas of myself to surrender to Jesus, deeper levels of trusting in Him in any and every circumstance and season, and about being present in the now and giving my 100% to the season that’s in front of me before I can even be handed the next season. This season has held so incredibly much. I’ve learned an insane amount of things about myself, ministry, Jesus, community, missions, America, and I’m sure if I sat here and listed everything piece by piece it would take all of 11 months. I will graciously spare you.
There I sat in Thailand, disappointed, wondering what was going on. He whispered “Be Still”. After a few minutes of me trying to decipher what he meant by “Be Still” He then started downloading the rest. He gave me eyes to see that landing in Tyler and spending time with my family, even though it’s not a comfortable place for me, is where I need to be to continue processing things from the race. He showed me how even though I want to be where I think my life is in Florida, to be back there right away would be too easily of a distraction and would provide too many opportunities to not continue and finish walking through things the Lord started this year.
As I let him continue to reveal things for my time in Tyler, I actually started to get excited in looking forward to my season of rest and “Be Still” that he has in store in order to prepare me for what comes after that. (Not getting ahead I promise but I know that His order is intentional and I know that I am only resting and recovering and being filled to be poured out again, but that will come in time.)
The verses that I cling to now are some of the same ones that have seen me through seasons before, but seem to be making their way back to me in my time of need, they are: Jeremiah 29:11-13, Hebrews 11:1, 2 Corinthians 5:7, and Ephesians 3:20.
Florida Peeps, I will be back. Hopefully for a visit as soon as possible to hold me off until I can possibly relocate for a longer time. I will be honest and say that my life is laid before the Lord and He is free to call me wherever when ever He wants, even though it hurts, because it’s for His glory, Kingdom and even for my good, and absolutely worth it. Know that I love you so very much and want to continue to hear from you as I finish the World Race and as I arrive back in the states.
For anyone who would like to ask me more questions or talk to me please feel free to email me at [email protected] .
