We spent the month of January in Nha Trang, Vietnam. The beach was a 30 second walk away and the views were breathtaking. It broke my heart to look around and know that many of the people surrounding me didn’t know who to credit for the incredible scene that was mountains protruding behind the crystal blue seas.
Vietnam is a “closed country” meaning that you cannot openly evangelize and the churches that are able to meet are regulated by government rules. Only about 7% of the population in Vietnam are Christians and many of the rules enforced keep that number low. Because of this, our ministry for the month didn’t look quite like the months before. The goal was not to speak the Gospel, though God opened doors for that to happen, thankfully, but rather to live it out. Our days were spent speaking English with local university students and teaching English to children and adults from the area.
After about a week or so of doing this, I found myself really drained and quite frustrated. I couldn’t place my finger on what was bothering me, I just knew I felt off. I had decided at the beginning of the month that I was going to start diving more into Scripture. I started following a reading plan and spent the month digging deep, studying, taking notes, and learning beautiful things about the Father. Why, then, was I feeling so disconnected?
It finally struck me one day when I was reading in Acts. I came across these two verses and it hit me pretty hard.
“Yet the Most High does not dwell in houses made by hands…” Acts 7:48
“The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of Heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man.” Acts 17:24
What I realized was that I was feeling so down because I wasn’t being fueled by ministry. I wasn’t spending my days teaching lessons about Jesus or telling Bible stories, and I felt like something was missing. I started asking God why ministry was bothering me so much this month, why I wasn’t as excited to get up and start the day each day. He quickly pointed out an ugly truth in me. I had been allowing ministry to take the place of actual relationship with my Father.
I was putting my relationship with Christ in a box labeled “ministry”. I wasn’t allowing Him to leave the “temple” I had built. As long as I was sharing the Gospel and teaching Bible stories throughout the day, then things with me and God were good, right? I didn’t need to do any extra reading or spend any individual time with Him. I had just spent my whole day promoting His name. Why did I need to do more when I got home from ministry?
But God does not live in temples made by man or in houses made by hands. God is not confined to the hours of ministry. And He doesn’t want our relationship to be, either.
He desires to KNOW me. Of course, He desires for me to love on those children and to serve up bowls of food in the hungry villages and teach English to those who desire a better future for themselves. But He wants an intimate relationship with me, too. He wants me to come to Him with my frustrations, my victories, my triumphs, my questions. He doesn’t just want my service, He wants my heart.
I spent the remainder of the month cutting out time for God and I to really get to know one another. It felt like a task at first, trying to find time in the day where I could get somewhere by myself and listen for His voice. But it quickly became something that I not only enjoyed, but I needed. Ministry can’t speak truth to me like He can. Ministry can’t give me big dreams like He can. Ministry can’t mold my heart like He can.
A real, raw relationship with Him beats all things we try to put in that place. There is nothing that can replace truly knowing His heart, not even really great things. Don’t put Him in a box. Church services and Bible studies are great, and He is in all of those things. Serving in the community and teaching Sunday school are so needed and He honors those who serve Him. But those are not replacements for a true relationship with Him. And using them as such only steals us from a greater blessing. He is so much bigger than we can imagine. He will not be confined to temples and houses. He wants all of us, and it is so worth it to give ourselves to Him.
