My dad. He is a man to be highly esteemed. He looks on people with favor. He sees the best in those around him. He’s always willing to give a helping hand. He stands up for what he believes in, even when it’s not the popular opinion. He encourages those who are sad. He picks up the ones that are down. He’s hardworking and hardly thinks of himself. He gets things done and he does them well and with proficiency. He seeks Jesus and calls Him Father.
My mom. She is a woman worthy of blessings. She helps others in any and every way she possibly can. She listens to others with intention and in return provides wisdom. She sees the good in people. Her heart is one of a servant. She lifts up the spirits of the sorrowful. She sees things not as they are, but as they should be. She seeks Jesus and calls Him Father.
I’ve spent 18 years with my mom and dad, learning from them, gleaning wisdom from them. Spending that much time with someone, you’re bound to pick up characteristics from them, whether you intend to or not. I’ve been on the World Race for a little over a week now, and I first hand have seen how intensely I am my parent’s child in a whole new light.
My dad has always been a very clean person. He values tidiness and having things in order. This is the opposite of how I am. My dad and I lived in a constant battle over our different views of cleanliness when I was back home. It’s just an area we’ve never seen eye to eye on. I don’t understand how he can never have a speck of dust on the floor and he doesn’t get how I can have things in various places and still feel organized. My dad is also a very handyman. In order to relieve stress, he does things around the yard, which literally sounds like the most miserable thing to me more often than not. He doesn’t see it that way, though. He enjoys it and does it almost daily.
My mom has a very quiet personality. She definitely seeks to be the listener instead of the talker and she’ll refuse being given the spotlight every time. She doesn’t desire to be seen in the way most people do, but she loves when people around her are given the chance to shine. For the longest time, that person in the spotlight has been me. She hates being on the stage, but has cheered me on every single time I am in a show or a performance. I’ve never really understood her point of view, and I know she definitely doesn’t see my perspective on it.
Since being here in Albania, I’ve seen both of my parents in myself. Although I have my own idea of tidiness apart from my dad’s, I’ve still gotten up every morning and cleaned up my area and made my bed. To most, this doesn’t seem crazy and is usually an everyday task. For me, it’s a chore, and it’s a chore I despise. But I’ve done it anyway. Since my dad has ingrained that part of himself into my brain, I’ve followed his instructions even while I’m thousands of miles away.
I had my first day of ministry yesterday. Coming into ministry here in Albania, I thought my first two weeks were going to be working with kids. I was wrong. We are preparing the camp we’re in for when the kids get here in a few weeks time, but in the meantime, we are cleaning up and doing…wait for it…yard work. I cannot tell you how connected I felt to my father yesterday. I saw his qualities in me as I sought to work hard and get things done correctly and in a timely manner. Just like how I thought Dad would do it. It made me appreciate him and his hard work in a way I never had before.
I’ve also noticed how small spoken I’ve been while here. I’m wanting to get to know those around me and really dig into community here. Much of that has come from me listening to the stories of people on my squad. I’m reminded of my mom in those scenarios, because I know exactly how my mom would approach each situation with grace and listening ears, and occasionally a shoulder for people to cry on if they need it. I see characteristics of Mom every time I sit down to talk to someone about life, and it makes me love and miss her more every time.
I’ve only been gone from home a week and a half, and I cannot wait to see my parents in 5 short months. I see them in me. I see how 18 years of being in their presence has molded and made me into an image that resembles them. Time spent with someone does that. Intimacy with another person connects hearts and eventually, it makes two people become one in a way.
I have an opportunity right in front of me to have that time and intimacy with Jesus. I have very few jobs while I’m here, not only on the World Race, but on this earth, and one of them is to obey God and seek Him all that I can.
Although I’ve spent so much time with my parents and become like them, there is only one parent whose reflection needs to shine the brightest in my life, and it’s the Father who died for me. That only happens when I dig in and spend time falling deeper into His grace, love and mercy. In order to become more like Him, I need to find out who He is. In the same way I make my bed and do the yard work like my dad, and listen quietly like my mom, I want to live and love like Jesus.
I am my dad’s daughter.
I am my mom’s daughter.
But most importantly, I am my Father’s daughter.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Life here in Albania has been nuts! Homesickness hit me right off the bat, but this community is so real and authentic that there was no way for me to sit in my sadness. I’m in love with my team. Team Edifly is living up to its name and it brings so much joy to my heart.
The ministry is hard. We’re doing intense (like camping) yard work every morning and usually have the afternoon to relax a little, but living with 50 other people, there’s always something going on, so 9 o’clock has become my standard bedtime. I really love living in community, though. For the most part, at least. There’s always someone to talk to and always someone who you need to be there for — it’s very practical to be the hands and feet of Jesus in environments like this. Plus, so far it’s been a very understood thing that when a person needs quiet time, you leave them be. That’s really rocked.
The race is different than I imagined. It’s hard and it’s rewarding, but it’s growing more than anything else. I’ve only been doing this thing for two and half weeks and I feel like the Lord is teaching me so much about the kind of person and leader He desires me to be. I’m so pumped for 8 more months of this continuous growth and learning, that I pray will manifest itself even more so in the states.
I miss my parents. That’s been rough. If you couldn’t tell from the blog post, they’ve been on my mind quite a bit. When we were at launch, all the sermons talked about the parents letting go of their kids and giving back to God what He gave to them. I didn’t realize it at the time, but this is just as much me letting go of them as they are letting go of me. They wont agree with me on that, but in my eyes it’s true. I hold my parents so close to my heart. They are my best friends, against their many efforts by telling me “I’m here to be your parent, not your friend”. Joke’s on them, I guess.
In the same way God is holding my heart and life, He’s holding theirs. He is a good Father not just to me, but to all of His children. It’s time I embrace that truth and live in it. So, I’m letting them go. God granted me not only two, but three wonderful parents that have molded me to the woman I am today, and while I will always be their daughter, they are first and foremost His children, and a good Father takes care of His kids.
I have a new mantra. “Pressing in and pressing on”. So, as this journey begins, I will press in to what the Lord has for me. I will press in to ministry and community and most importantly Him, because that’s what this life is about. And I will press on in this race marked out for me. I will press on because I know that whatever struggle I face, He has overcome it and calls me to higher things.
So, with that being said, this is LETizz, all the way from Lezhë (I promise you you’re pronouncing it wrong because I did too until I got here), Albania, pressing in and pressing on, all for the glory of the One that pushes me along. Goodnight (good afternoon for you American folk).
