One would think that there really aren’t a whole lot of decisions to be made for those that live on nothing. That’s false. I have been living on little to no resources for the past eleven months, and can tell you firsthand that there are plenty of decisions that accompany. In fact, most of the decisions remain the same, only the stakes are higher and the circumstances extreme.
To make a $4/ day lodging budget somehow work in a nation where women are objects, Christians are persecuted or killed, the cost of living is expensive, the decision not to give up was only the first of many. As the thought of calling our home office back in the States and requesting a larger budget also crossed my mind, I knew quickly such options were absurd, that’s a given. Yet, I was responsible for managing the logistics of this area, and had to make the tiny budget work. I had to consider the fact that my team was made up entirely of beautiful women when the mass majority of options actually in our set budget included dorm style co-ed hostels where the next bed was likely to be of the opposite sex, and the fact that we wouldn’t be able to take our packs containing 11 months of supplies with us to our daily meetings on public transportation, so security was an issue for both us and our belongings. Not to mention the fact that this all took place in Malaysia where the week we arrived, anti Christian extremists were making violent displays of their position through bombing places in which Christians, like us gathered… And without all our heads constantly covered… Or even a single cross around our neck, it was pretty clear before uttering a single word, what we believed. Plenty of decisions had to be made that could have serious consequences on my team if not done so properly.
There was a week in Nepal that I lived in the Himalayan mountain range with no electricity or running water, and the obvious decision of choosing joy was a big deal among the many choices that surrounded the way I would handle cleaning the severe injury on my right hand three times a day and somehow without clean water, do so in a sterile manner.
In Botswana and Swaziland we endured record breaking cold temperatures for the nations’ winter seasons without any heating, and only a single sweater in my pack. When in Nepal’s larger village, we had electricity… For 3 hours a day. That’s it, it would come on at any odd time, run for 3 hours and shut off. If your things were not plugged in, they didn’t get charged. In my case, there was one outlet with two plugs and seven women that had an average of three things each that would warrant charging on a daily basis, and had light only until 5pm when the sun went down. All of these things required decisions, yes, but this time the stakes were high and the circumstances extreme. There were moments, many of them, when I was asked to give a sermon to an entire church, without warning, at the time that I had to give the message! Then there were the less glamorous moments of having to clean a bathroom with no supplies available, which hasn’t been cleaned in the past five years.
So many choices had to be made, even when there were no resources available to me. When traveling throughout a country with no travel budget, no Internet, only people, sketched maps, occasional public transit and free rides, every decision is important. Overall, there’s no science or resource manual to it. There are many times when a free ride is wrong, no matter how much budget you don’t have. We all have a certain amount of wisdom granted to us… It’s the wisdom that knows what not to trust.
There were many countries in which the police were not to be trusted, and even known to try to steal from or scam Americans. Yet, when a female teammate and myself needed to double check our directions, late at night while walking a long road full of rickshaws back to the home-stay we had just checked into- we stopped at the police kiosk, and gladly accepted the officer’s free Moto bike ride back when he offered- because we had wisdom. We assessed the situation in the two second window that we had to make a decision, and went with it. Yet still, we used our wisdom to quickly assess future risks. In times like this I have found that since English is usually understood in most parts of the world, where Spanish isn’t, speaking Spanish to communicate backup plans to each other is sometimes necessary.
It’s true. I usually have pepper spray in my bag, a knife in my bra, an emergency international cell and identification and cash pinned into my clothing while overseas in uncharted territory of the mission field… Just in case EVERYTHING went wrong, which it doesn’t.
Yet, when not in traditional ministry with a contact that is local, I knew that the best way to deal with anything was to be prepared for everything. Wisdom was important, just as discernment in making our lack of Internet, funds, and transportation work for us. When deciding who to ask for directions, and then determining if the local’s version of a “5 minute walk” is actually a thirty minute walk. It’s important when deciding which food is safe to eat and which will land you in the hospital. It’s important when deciding which public transit is best, meaning safe and cheap. And always relying on the Spirit when determining which person to pray for, which to stop and buy food for, and which person is a legitimate threat to your safety.
So the past 11 months have been a time of growth in decisions. But its a growth that reflects the shift within, of dependance on nothing but God. Because I can have a backup plan all day, but if the one in charge is not in the decision making, nothing will work. HE has anointed each of HIS precious children with a measure of wisdom that is also meant to be used, and truly, whether the stakes are high, of my life and those of my teammates, or the situation extreme of having no electricity and a severe open injury to care for, I, like every Christian, have all the resources I need to get through it. It may not always make sense, but that’s sometimes where faith grows.
xo
Lauren
Pictured is my “home” (orange tent) in the mountains of Nepal where I would hike downhill to the river whenever water was needed, where I would step in next to water buffalo of the area.
.jpeg&maxwidth=640)
