We were asked to write about how we were called to the mission field, so here is me trying to put into words how the Lord has called me here:
Since middle school I have been involved in a ministry called YoungLife, which is a ministry that is very dear to my heart. It reaches out to teenagers wherever they are in their lives and loves them and shows them who Christ is. Whether you are a drug addict, a partier, a straight A student, an athlete, etc, you are welcome. It has been a tool in my life to bring me closer to the Lord, and I have been privileged to lead at a school in Tucson loving on teen girls for 5 years now. Through this ministry, I also got the chance of a lifetime. Growing up, I had a heart for Africa and the people there. Seeing the pictures, and hearing the stories continued to break my heart over and over. In the summer of 2009, our YoungLife college group was asked to go over to Rwanda, Africa to jump-start YoungLife in that country. After much thought, I was finally able to muster up the courage to go over to Rwanda. Ok, I lied. I didn’t have to muster up anything, I jumped at the opportunity. While there, the Lord wrecked me. I saw babies raising babies, people who had nothing giving all that they had away, people spending hours in genuine community, people not just worshipping the Lord on Sundays, but living worship. I saw more joy on the faces of people who have experienced more heartache and tragedy and poverty in a war-torn country than in anyone in America. Only a few years before I visited that beautiful country, they had experienced a horrific genocide, but judging by the way they lived their lives, you would never have known. Each day we got to pour into these beautiful people who changed our worldview.
Coming back from Africa, I knew I wouldn’t be the same. Sure, I could fall back into the monotony of my daily life and live to please the people around me, but in my heart, I knew the Lord was creating something new. I went back to school and continued to pursue a degree in nursing. I had been praying about working with teen girls for a long time, and the Lord provided me with a job at Teen Challenge’s Springboard Home loving girls caught up in drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity, negative self-image, self-mutilation, abuse, etc. They were caught in the lies that the world was feeding them. I knew at that time that the Lord wanted me to be there more than a few times a week, so I took a semester off of school and worked with these precious girls full time. It was an incredible time of learning and loving and getting a bigger picture of the Lord’s heart for His children. I am blessed to continue working there now. After that semester I changed my major and went back to school to pursue a new degree. I was in school because the world told me that a degree would give me worth. I was in school because my parents desired a successful life for me, and I am so grateful for that. But the Lord has other plans. I am not saying that I am never going to get a degree, but I am saying that it may look differently, as far as timing goes, than society or my parents would deem acceptable (and bless my sweet parents for supporting me anyways).
Since I’ve been home from Africa, my heart has been unsettled. I knew I was created for more…maybe not even something more, but definitely something different than the “American standard.” The Lord daily breaks my heart for the people that surround me on a daily basis, for the people in this country, and even more, for the people of this world. I’ve known for a long time that I was supposed to go back into the world and spread the love of Christ to “the least of these,” to the people that the world overlooks or shuns. To the people around the world caught in lies, in slavery, in poverty, in a life that they had no control over. I was to tell them that they are seen, loved, valued; I was to speak the truth of Christ over the lost and hurting around the world.
This summer I prayed about where the Lord truly wanted me, because I felt like I was living a life that pleased the world rather than one that pleased Him. Don’t get me wrong, I am so incredibly blessed and couldn’t ask for a better life and better people to spend it with, but the Lord desired more from me. I had thought about the World Race for the past 2 years, and the Lord made it very clear to me this summer that I was to be obedient in following Him around the world for 11 months to 11 different countries to proclaim Him to the nations. (Romania, Bulgaria, Rwanda, Uganda, Kenya, Thailand, Malaysia, Cambodia, Guatemala, Honduras, and Nicaragua). I was to surrender my comforts, my family, my friends, my job, my plans for my future, etc., and trust that His plans are better than my own. Was/am I scared? Terrified. Am I excited? Thrilled beyond belief.
I searched for a long time trying to figure out what I was supposed to be doing with my life. It may seem that this is something I am doing because I am looking for “the next best thing.” The truth is actually the exact opposite. I finally know exactly what the Lord wants from me and stand confident in this truth. I am blessed that He has revealed this to me and at a time where it is more “tangible” than it may be in the future. So….do I feel called? Absolutely. But I also struggle with saying that it’s a calling. If I am to take God’s word as infallible truth, and I am to daily live it out, then the Lord does not “call” me to do this, He commands it of me.
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world” James 1:27… “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me” Luke 9:23… “Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me” Luke 18:22… “He said to them, ‘Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.’” Mark 16:15… “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit” Mark 28:19….and the list goes on…
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” Isaiah 6:8
How blessed am I that I can say, “Here I am, Lord. Send me. Take my life and do with it what You will.”
The truth is that the Lord has designed each of us with a purpose. He desires that we daily surrender our lives to Him and seek to do His will. Maybe for you, that doesn’t look like going around the world. Maybe it looks like reaching the people that you encounter everyday and loving them with the love of Christ so that they may know Him better. Maybe it means serving your community. Whatever you feel Him calling you to do, I pray that you act on it.
I am ecstatic to bring the Kingdom of God to the nations, and if you aren’t called to do the same, then I am excited to go as your representative to the world.
