I didn’t know pulling into training camp how spiritually renewed I was going to be after it was all over. I didn’t know God was going to show me a little bit more about myself and I didn’t know I was going to fall in love with so many people. I especially didn’t know that I was going to fall deeper in love with Him.
A couple of days into training camp we had a session on healing. We all spoke of the physical and emotional healing we needed and if we weren’t sure of those things we prayed that the Lord would reveal those things to us. I spoke a little about not being able to forgive myself for my past but that wasn’t really true. I just felt like I needed to say something, I didn’t want to look like I was acting as if I had nothing I needed to heal from because that definitely wasn’t the case. Shortly after praying to our Heavenly Father I found that I was struggling with something that the enemy can destroy us with…comparison.
I had all these beautiful, intelligent women around me and I kept comparing myself to them.
They’re so beautiful
They know so much more about the Bible than I do
They’re so wise
They’re so outgoing
They’re so joyful…
I was so busy comparing myself to all the girls on my squad that it..
Sucked the joy right out of me
Told me I needed to speak less
Told me I couldn’t be myself
Told me not to have confidence
During this healing session a wonderful woman from our squad became vulnerable and spoke to the group about how she was insecure with her physical appearance. That the enemy had been using other people to put her down and I looked at her beautiful face and started shedding tears with her.
God revealed to me that I needed healing from the insecurities that left me comparing myself to every woman that had ever been a part of my life. God showed me in that moment how the enemy really is the author of confusion. That day I decided I would no longer allow him to have that foothold over my life. And I prayed that my squad mate would flee as well.
This girl who sat in front of me was absolutely beautiful from the inside out and she was convinced that she needed to work on her physical appearance. Lies.
I’m not saying that physical appearance is important. What I am saying is it is easy for us to believe other people’s opinions, especially the enemies.
I’ll never forget that day at training camp. She cried. I cried. And in that moment we realized that we are beautiful and we’re God’s children and most importantly It was time for us to change the world.
And then we danced. Yes, we got up and danced with our squad. Jesus is amazing and He heals!
If you're struggling with comparison or a list of insecurities
just give it to Jesus and dance.
I hope this blog encourages and inspires you. I also pray that you would be inspired enough to support this trip financially. I still have $2,200 to raise before I can leave! I need your help.
You can donate by clicking the “support me” tab on the left hand side of this blog or by sending a check to Adventures in Missions, PO Box 534470, Atlanta, Ga, 30353-4470 with “BROOKSLAUREN” in the memo line. Please make checks payable to Adventures In Missions.
Thank you!
