I’ve put way too much pressure on myself when it comes to blogging. When I sit down to blog I find myself doing research and thinking to myself “Well, let’s make sure this is an accurate statement before I post it for the whole world to see.” When, really, blogging is so easy. It doesn’t have to be facts or statistics, just a collage of thoughts, feelings, and/or expressing how the Lord is moving in me and overflowing on those around me. I’ve realized, though, that what keeps me from blogging is what others may think of me, or what it might make me look like. And that’s not what this trip is about or what this blog is about. It’s not about being the best writer, it’s about being vulnerable and raw by sharing what God is doing in my life so that God can use me to wake up others and have them learn from my revelations.
Speaking of revelations, I’ve had a few lately….
I’ve always known that I was selfish I just didn’t know the extremity of it. The Lord has been showing me ways that I am selfish and giving me opportunities to improve, but I am still so sick of my flesh. The whole reason I haven’t wanted to post a blog is because I wanted it to be about me. I wanted the glory. I was trying to steal the Father’s glory. I’m never going to be perfect, obviously, but it would be nice to naturally give Him all the glory, all the time. The more I realize how evil I really am the more I realize how much I need the Father every second of the day. Often times, just the mention of His name can keep me from saying something I shouldn’t say or it may give me 5 more minutes of patience when I need it.
Which reminds me of something else the Lord has taught me since being in Vietnam…
Vietnam has been one of the hardest yet best months for me so far. I’m learning that talking to Jesus is not something that has to be scheduled or routine. It’s an all-day relationship. From sun up to sun down seeking Him and praising Him for all that He does for us and what he pushes us through. And when you start to really see that, and I mean REALLY see that, then you start to turn to Him for everything.
This month I prayed that the Lord would heal deformities…
that He would stop the rain so we wouldn’t get drenched on our 30 minute walk to the orphanage,
that we would have eggs for lunch after many mystery meat dishes,
that I would find more confidence in Him,
that my team and I would make a difference in the lives of many orphans,
that the violence that we saw would be replaced with love
and the list goes on and on.
I’ve seen so many answered prayers this month and the ones that weren’t answered were replaced with better plans.
Every day I need Him, and everyday He’s here for me. Listening and smiling, already knowing what I’m about to say. I’m just so in love with the Father. He answers my prayers and comforts me during trial and confusion. He sends rainbows and beautiful sunsets. He stops the rain when necessary, or He tells me to dance in it. He sends 4 beautiful women into my life (my team mates) to travel the nations together, grow together, and build His Kingdom together. And ultimately it’s not about me, it’s about Him and the stories he’s given me the privilege to tell.
1 Corinthians 10:31
“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
What are some things you’ve forgotten to give God the glory for?
How often do you talk to Him throughout the day?
