Weighing on My Heart…. Jealously where does it come from..

I wrote this blog several weeks ago and I never got around to posting it… But today some of those feelings came back… Made me think about how God is on our side and will help us get through all of the emotions we are facing in the months before leaving…

Have you ever dealt with the feelings I wish I had that or I wish I could do this? I am sure we all have dealt with that. Lately, I know I have been feeling that way. I sit here catching myself thinking I wish I had everyone I love around me twenty four seven, I wish I did not have to worry about my finances, I wish I look like she did, I could go on and on. I also think to myself if he or she really loved me or wanted to see me that they would go out of there way to come see me. Wow! I can not believe I am having those feelings; even though I know each and everyone of us has had those feelings at some point in our life.
 
This morning (Thursday) I kept feeling that way…Jealous that some people have other important things to do then taking time for me, heck I am leaving in less than two months… times are ticking down to spend time with me. I could not figure out where all this was coming from until I realize that reality is setting in. I keep wondering why am I having those feelings, then I started thinking about these questions: how am I going to get through the next year, what if I never get to talk to some people again, what if something happens and I can not be apart of that special event or whatever it may be.
 
 So this morning it hit me that we just talked about all this at bible study last night. Learning to give up things, such as, the TV, the internet, the cell phone, the iPod, and so much more and getting your time to God. So I get in my car this morning headed to work listening to the new Zac Brown CD, when I realize that it was time that I took those feelings to God. It came to me that I needed to turn my radio off and ride in quietness with God. Asking him for guidance to get me through the upcoming challenges that I face.
 
I began to think what if I took all the jealously I have for others and on different things, and put it towards my relationship with God. Looking at it this way, God made me as his daughter, he will provide, he gives us comfort, and he made us to be the way we are. I started to really think how I have seen all this first hand in the last months, it is amazing how he is providing for me with the support I need for the journey I am about to embark on. 
 
I guess where I am trying to go with these jealous issues are: if we would put all of our jealous feelings that we have towards everyday things and put it towards our time with God; imagine the relationship that we would have with Him. Just by taking the time out of the day to sit in quietness with Him. Even taking the time to put the distraction away and solely concentrate on bring Him in your everyday relationship with the people who mean the most to us.
 
Here are a couple ways the Bible explains jealously:
 
First, Exodus 34:14
Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.
 
Direct line from my Bible:
Jealously is one of those “bad” emotions, isn’t it? Why then does the Bible say “the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God”? The Hebrew work here describes an intense love. In human beings jealously usually is selfish. God’s jealously is different. God’s jealously is intense love, a love so strong that he wants only what is best for you. That’s why God gets so upset when you sin. He loves you too much to just stand by and see you mess up you life. His intense loves makes him jealous of anything in your life that pulls you away from him and the wonderful things he has planned for you.
 

1 Samuel 18: 1-15
  
Direct line from my Bible:
She’s going out with the guy you like. He’s the quarterback and you’re on the bench. There are just two reasons why teens get jealous of each other. You could probably name more. King Saul was jealous of David because David was successful. But what’s important here is to see what jealously leads to. Instead of being David’s enemy. (1 Samuel 18:15). Jealously drives people apart. It creates suspicion and fear. What can you do about jealously? First remember that God loves you and gives you what’s best for you. Second pray for the person you’re jealous of. It’s really hard to hate or fear someone you’re praying for!
 
 
I also found this in Bible: “God is Jealous”
 
Jealously is a powerful emotion. When you feel jealous, you usually feel hateful and angry. So when the Bible says God is Jealous (Exodus 20:5), does that mean he feels hateful and angry too?
 
Actually, the Bible doesn’t say that God is jealous against anyone. Instead God is jealous for some- his people. God cares so much that he becomes upset when the way you live keeps you from experiencing his very best.
 
Hosea 2, shows how God’s jealously works. God’s people were unfaithful. No matter how good God was to them, they still worshiped ideals. But God continued to love his people, knowing that without him they were lost! So he took away their good things- not to destroy them but to bring them to their senses-so that once again they would turn to him and receive his blessing.
 
 I wonder if we loved God as much as we sometimes consume our life with jealously, what type of relationship you think you would have with the people around you and God. You can have the best of both worlds, by accepting God’s help in different situations and walking with Him and including Him in your relationship with the people that mean the most to you. Each and everyone of us are children of God, so if we all practice the conservations with him and had sincere love with God, imagine the relationship you will have.
 
Think about what feelings you would have.