You make me brave.
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves.
No fear can hinder now the love that made a way.
No fear can hinder now the promises you made.
I showed up at camp with loads of mixed emotions. I was super excited to meet my new family and experience the Lord in new ways. Little did I know, as always, God FAR surpassed my expectations.
I now know what having a family in Christ means. I have bonded in ways with my new brothers and sisters in ways that I did not know were possible. Even by the second day, I was opening up and sharing things with them that I hadn’t really ever shared with anyone and putting all of my trust in them without even thinking twice about it. Y’all, these people are my FAMILY. I can’t express how extremely blessed I am to know them and be constantly encouraged and lifted up by them each and every day.
10 days ago, I was an entirely different person. I cannot express into words what the Lord did in me at training camp. I have been transformed and born again by the Holy Spirit. I’ve tasted and seen of the sweetest of loves, where my heart becomes free and my shame is undone.
To be able to become this person that God has created me to be, I had to open up my eyes and my heart and become vulnerable. I had to let the Lord in to break the chains from my past and the pain that I had felt in my life. Let me tell you, this isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do and I’m making it sound so simple, but DANG did the Lord show up!
To try and explain somewhat of what the Lord has done in my heart, here is a journal entry from day 4:
“Tonight I experienced what true joy feels like. Today, during our one on one’s with one of our squad leaders, Katie, she told me that tonight is ‘Holy Spirit night’ and to go into it with a completely open mind. So that’s what I did. Before dinner, we had a squad bonding activity where we had a dance off. (SO MUCH FUN, Y’ALL!) So the energy was already high. Then I ate dinner with some awesome squad mates and laughed to the point of tears. Then when we went into session, we all had a huge dance party to ‘shake it off’ before worship. My energy and joy was so high. We starting worshipping and I wanted what others had: I wanted to connect with the Holy Spirit and hear the words of the Lord. I could feel myself worshipping like never before, not caring what others were thinking, but I wanted to go deeper. I desperately wanted the Lord to sweep me off my feet and let the Holy Spirit take control. Katie then almost immediately placed her hands on my shoulders and asked the Holy Spirit to take over me because she was told that is what I desperately wanted. I burst into tears in her arms. The Lord is amazing. There’s no other way anything like that could happen unless it was said so by Him. He put it on Katie’s heart to come pray over me for exactly the same thing I was praying for. She then asked if there was anything I needed prayer about, so I said ‘to rid me of fear and insecurities and just be one with the Lord.’ I was overcome with emotion and spent the rest of worship entirely in pure joy like I’ve never felt before. I worshipped without fear and let myself be taken over by Jesus. I feel free. Free of the burden of insecurities and fear.
After worship, back at camp, my squad was sitting around each other sharing their hearts and being so brave and vulnerable. We were celebrating the Lord and rejoicing in His good works. We prayed over those who needed it and joined together as brothers and sisters in Christ. I had never felt so welcomed or belonged. I shared how I had never really worshipped and explained what happened to me with the Holy Spirit and I was literally shaking with joy. It was so freeing and perfect. Being surrounded by His perfect love and people who rejoice in that is SUCH a blessing.”
Awesome, right?!
Besides my transformation spiritually, having to spend 10 days in the woods of Gainesville, Georgia wasn’t exactly the easiest thing either. Using only porter potties, taking bucket showers, sleeping in a tent and hammock, and sweating 99% of the time isn’t really ideal, but it was an eye opening experience that I’m so appreciative for.
All in all, training camp was the best, most transforming, insane, challenging, and unexplainable experience of my life. Although there is still more work that needs to be done in me, I know that I am on the right path to becoming the person that God has created me to be. And I know that He has prepared my heart to leave the country and go spread this JOY and good news to the nations.
Thank you, Lord, for showing me what being truly joyful feels like. Thank you for giving me 40 new brothers and sisters. Thank you for transforming my life and showing me what it means to be a child of God. Thank you for letting me dance, find my freedom, and find my joy in the river of Your love.
I am loved by You, my good, good Father.
My next financial deadline is August 21st at $10,500. As of right now, I have about $8,200.
This means I’ll need a little over 20 people to donate $100 in the next two weeks! Or 40 people to donate $50! Or anyone to donate anything! Seriously y’all, you don’t think $1 or $5 or $10 will help, but it totally will!
If you feel led at all in your heart to join and partner with me on this journey, please consider doing so! Online donations are preferred because they process faster, so just click the “Support me” tab! If you have any further questions, don’t hesitate to contact me!!
Again, I want to thank all those who have already believed in what the Lord is doing in and through me and made the decision to partner with me! Y’all rock!
“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” John 1:12
“Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.” Psalm 62:8
“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20
