South Africa (Month 3)
I learned a lot in South Africa. As people, we tend to sweep the little things under the rug. We don't see the importance of a simple, "hello" to the person we make eye contact with in the grocery store, or the acknowledgment of your acquaintance's haircut. Even the words of a parent can make or break the future of a child or define how they see themselves amongst others as an adult. This month I would say I learned that many little things in life do matter. In fact, sometimes the bigger issues come about when the little things are brushed over. Here is a few of the little things I learned in month three:
1) Kids absorb life like a sponge
I worked in a "Kresh" (pre-school), this month. We were at the school from 8:00 am to 3:pm everyday. There were times when I would sit back and observe all the interactions made in the classroom. No matter what I was doing, it was never done without a minimum of 20 pairs of eyes watching my every move. The kids were intently watching my motives, the expressions made on my face, and then learning from my responses. Whether a child is months or 6 years old, they are learning from everything around them, and the things they see will begin to shape the way they think about the world and how they choose to act within it. Don't think a child is too young to learn. They are learning from everything all the time.
2) Do good, see good, feel good
Living in Oceanview was hard for me. I saw the sadness of the people around me, and felt the hopelessness of the elders in the community. The first week I felt like there wasn't much I could do for the community and was confused as to why we were staying there. It wasn't till the second week that I remembered what our contact had told us about our month, "just be you, be real." I decided not to express how defeated I felt with the people, but to share hope instead. I started smiling obnoxiously, and waving at everyone we passed by. "Good morning! How are you?!" I think they realized I wasn't going to stop, because after a few days they started saying hello back. As a result, they smiled for that moment, and I also felt better about their response.
I also saw similar changes in the preschool I was volunteering at. When the kids would misbehave, they were spanked or yelled at. While the children would stop, the response was temporary, and they would quickly return to their disobedience. It was really frustrating and exhausting. I decided to try something else. Instead of uselessly spanking the kids, I started to play or distract them instead. I would start dancing around the kids who were acting out, and they would stop and dance with me. I would start playing with they're hair, and they would stop hitting each other, and ask if they could play with my hair.
Both the adults we passed by on the way to work, and the children choosing to disobey at the school both responded to kindness. The hardness in street was turned to a smile because we acknowledged them. They started saying, "good morning" to us instead of staring us down as we passed by. The children wanted any interaction they could get. Whether it was getting a spanking, or me asking, "what's your name," they wanted it all. Simple acts of kindness resulted in kindness.
3) The Importance of the (my) Mother figure
We are all programmed to need a mother figure. They have a special gift of nurturing that we all need growing up. A mom's ability to understand insures security in her children. When a woman takes a baby's cheeks between her fingers, looks into the child's eyes, and makes silly cooing noises, they're actually instilling love into the baby. Again, working in the preschool, I learned the importance of a mother's role to her children. Furthermore, I found myself thinking about my own mom, and the role she played in my life. Images of my mother at the summer camp we volunteer at would flash through my mind. She has such a talent for stealing the kids attention. They all stop and circle around her, wide-eyed. They're always so eager to interact with her, and there I was in the middle of the chaos of 70 disobedient kids wishing I how she did it.
After a hard day I decided to walk to the beach with my ministry contact, Chantel, and my teammate, Heather. We shared stories and talked about the day's events. When we finally reached the sand, and the water was in sight, I shared something my mom always said to me. "As long as you can get to the beach and can see the water stretching out into the distance, you'll remember everything's going to be ok." I was walking down the beach again a week later thinking to myself when a shell in the sand caught my eye. I stopped to pick it up and saw that amongst other shells, there were various pieces of glass. They were all different colors and their edges had been smoothed out by the waves. My mom's always liked collecting things the ocean's been recycling. When I asked why, she would say something like, " I like thinking about how the glass has been tossed around for so long. It's gone from glass to a stone with rounded edges…every piece is unique."
I've always viewed myself as daddy's girl, but I never looked at the whole picture. I look up to my dad and respect him for some of the harder lessons he taught me. However, this month I learned about all the little things my mom has instilled in me. Whether we were just talking or passing time at the beach, she was always wisely guiding me. Because I've always thought of her as my friend, I never realized the influence she also had as my mom. What a beautiful, timeless spirit. I love you mom! Thank you for teaching me all the little things that have made me, me!
