Well everyone, I must confess, I've been holding out on you. I've known that I would be leaving for the race in January since October. Yes! That's right, I'm leaving for the World Race AGAIN. Exactly one year from my return to the states in December 2013, I will be taking off to Central America, just me and my trusty pack. Well, and a few other kingdom minded crazies.
Here's the curve ball: this time I will be going as a leader, which is why I've been so hesitant to write this blog. Because had you told me 2 years ago that I'd part take in any sort of Jesus “missions,” I would have laughed. In fact, I think I was still laughing at the whole idea 3 months into my original race! Furthermore, had you told me I would venture out a second time as a leader of a world race squad I think my laughing would've straightened out…”umm, ok. You can stop now. That's ridiculous.”
But here I am! Ha! The truth is that doing the World Race opened my eyes to the world, the depth of God, and the love He has for all creation. Having developed a passion for living life in personal pursuit of our maker, learning what it means to become love, and seeing the light of life catch flame within all God's sons and daughters, I can't wait to play a part in the spiritual transformation of the individuals I'll be leading! But that wasn't always the case for me. My own transformation went a little something like this:
It was a daring choice I made shortly after graduating from college. I was at a point where pressure of moving my life forward met with an utter lack of interest in any list of possible career choices. I felt I had experienced some of the greater things in life, but still had an heavy inclination in my spirit that there was something more I hadn't tapped into yet. With no specific passion, I was at a loss for direction and I burned out.
I decided to start seeking guidance from the “big man in the sky.” He was a distant father to me then. I was told He loved me my whole life, but I think my only idea of what that meant was based on how the people who told me that loved me. I had no real experiences of my own with God, but I believed what the people I trusted told me. My faith has always been childlike that way. Anyways, back to my “daring choice.” Holding to the promises I grew up learning, “that God loved me, I should trust him, that he had a plan for me, and that it was good”, I journaled a simple prayer of surrender:
Journal entry, June 3, 2012:
"God please! Work in my heart..I want to be where you want me to be but, I can't do it. If you're out there, you have to change me, because I can't do it on my own. Help me align my heart with yours."
And then it happened. It's like God turned me inside out. It didn't happen over night, but it started with new desires like wanting to understand the Bible, and getting to know other believers. But that wasn't cutting it. I still longed for “the more” twisting in my heart. In a night of desperation, I cried in my room, asking God to just show me what it was I was looking for. With a little search, and a couple clicks I was lead to The World Race home page. The rest is history. My joy was made complete in seeking God and expressing his love to the many people around the world. It was like the “on” switch of my heart was flipped, and my spirit awoke from a deep sleep.
"I will give you a new heart, and put a new spirit within you; I will remove from you your heart of stone, and give you a heart of flesh. I will put my spirit in you, and move you to follow me.." -Ezekial 36:26-27
So this brings me back to the beginning. You see, the reason I'm hesitant to speak about leading this trip is because I'm having a hard time believing that I, Lauren Kelsey, am fit to lead a group of peers around the world. People who, like me, are risking all that they know for the sake of “the more.” To be honest, standing in front of a group of people who are anticipating an intimate year long pursuit of meeting their maker, i.e. the creator of universe, with a tiny label reading, “leader” is slightly intimidating!
Pushing insecurity aside, God has put a burden on my heart to see my peers get to know God in a deeper, more tangible way like I was able to through the race. However ill-equipped I may feel, I am strangely confident this is where I'm supposed to be. For that, I blame you! Just kidding. The reason I'm telling you all this is because I actually want to thank you. I want to thank you because without the encouragement and support I have received from you in regards to these trips, there would be NO POSSIBLE WAY I would even consider chasing this dream. But because of your belief in me, I am able to trust in God's call on my life. You are the one to blame, and so it's you who I direct my eternal gratitude.
"All scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." -2 Timothy 3:16-17
I would like to give a special thanks to:
My mom and dad
My Grandparents: Jerry and Dorothy Boiller, Jim and Gloria Argue
My Aunts and Uncles: Dale and Sheila Walker, Debbie and Dave Pedde
The Ireland, Hayford, Maldonado, Noble, and Caldwell families.
P-squad (second gen, #Pdabest)
And my friends who still aren't exactly sure what it is i'm doing 🙂
I love you all so much, and your love for me and for our Father has deeply impacted my life. Thank you.
Trip Details:
Dates: January-May
Location: El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, Panama
Support: $3,500
Total group: 30 people
