"to abandon oneself entirely to (a powerful emotion or influence); give in to"
This word, surrender, has been resonating with me for a few months now, and, throughout training camp, I was able to comprehend its meaning a little more. With this World Race trip, I am surrendering everything I have here to devote it all to God and the people He puts in my path. I am surrendering my time, family, friends, relationships, belongings, home, sleep, comfort, and life to Him and His plans for me. I was preparing for this since the day He called me and throughout my fundraising journey, however, as I journeyed through training camp I began to realize how much I am truly giving up to God.
I gave up my technology (phone, social media, texting, all of it) in order to focus on what God was doing, focus on making connections and friendships, and focus on knowing what information I needed for this journey. Throughout training camp, we were having to download a lot of information in the 10 days we were there. As this week went on, I started to realize how much more I needed to give up to the Lord. I was gaining a lot of information about the cultures and things we may encounter, while also laying down what burdens I was still struggling to let go.
I found that the enemy is real and that he will do anything to stop us from enhancing the Kingdom of God throughout the nations.
At the very start of training camp, I had a lot of anxiety and fear. I wondered if I even made the right choice for going. My introvert self was telling me to turn back now, and leave that life for the extroverts or “more capable” people. However, God was always there telling me to push through and build His Kingdom. He sent people with a prophetic word that gave me strength to carry on in just the first night. He gave me a tent buddy when I was feeling lonely and she had “lost” her bag in a scenario. He gave me a squad that became my family after just a few days. God was on the move even when I doubted His calling for my life.
Throughout the many sessions we had during training camp, we had to lay down what burdens we were harboring. I never realized how much I was holding back, until I started to give it to God and He started to lighten my load. There were still people in my life I needed to truly forgive and give over to God. This was such a freeing moment that brought on a lightness I didn’t know I needed.
One of the hardest moments of surrender hit me and my family hard. Near the end of my training camp, I learned that my sister was admitted to the hospital because her baby lost its heartbeat. I scrambled to my squad that night and we prayed and prayed for a miracle. We sang out to God asking for Him to move. However, when morning hit, we all grieved over my baby niece. This was a very devastating blow to me and my family. On top of that, I was so far from home. I felt like I had failed my family, and that God had failed me… I wanted to scream at God and blame Him for all of this. I wanted to know why He would heal so many other people here at training camp, but wouldn’t heal my baby niece.
Through it all, God provided me a group of people who became my family. We cried together and comforted each other. My squad gave me strength in this trialing moment. They gave me more than I could have ever asked for. God just kept telling me to surrender it all, He’s got it.
I still struggled with this word surrender after that. I was frustrated and angry. I didn’t understand how this could possibly happen. However, on our last full day of camp, we were given the opportunity to have water baptisms. I wasn’t planning on doing it because of my frustration and I honestly didn’t think I needed it (since I was just recently baptized in college). However, God kept nudging at my heart to surrender to Him. As my whole squad was surrounding the little pool cheering each other on as they were baptized, I got a sudden serge to go but held back. It wasn’t until John on my squad looked me straight in the eye and asked if I was going to go.
I got baptized on Friday, June 14th and surrendered everything that I am to God. I gave it all to Him. I surrendered the heart-wrenching loss to Him and His will. I surrendered my family, friends, relationships, comfort zones, and home. I laid down my life in its entirety to Him and Him alone. When I came up from the water, an unexplainable joy surrounded me. This joy never left either and it comforted me through this rough and emotional time.
Expect the Unexpected
I never could have guessed how much this training camp would challenge me and build me closer to the Lord. I never could have expected the events that happened to take place. I never thought that I could understand the Lord and grow so much closer to Him. I never thought I would be able to build such an incredible family with my squad. I couldn’t have expected any of this if the Holy Spirit wasn’t at work within me and encouraging me to continue on.
Matthew 6:9-13
“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name, your kingdom come,
your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.”
Thank you and God Bless,
Laura Leigh Armstrong
