His deepest desire was us.
From the first breath of man, to the fall of mankind, to the beat of your heart:
His eyes were always set on relationship with us.
This desire ran so deep in His will, He made the ultimate sacrifice a human could choose. To love without walls, knowing He would be betrayed, beaten, mocked, hung, and in slow pain die for the very ones who continuously turned away from Him.
His perfect sacrifice, fueled by His desire for me.
These were the words I mediated on in the concrete room our Colombian church was held in.
While I brought the bread of wheat to my lips, I reflected on Him being the wheat who laid himself down. As I sipped the deep purple juice, images of Him being poured out for me as an outpouring or His love flashed through my mind.
Papa, how can I do this? How can I lead Gap N for the next nine months?
My question seemed so small when placed next to what He has done.
Because, truth be told, this year is a sacrifice for me.
After establishing a new home in Georgia for a year, I’ve exchanged the comforts of American couches, Chick-fil-A, and dear friends and family who know my heart’s depth for the mission of leading Gap N to five countries.
I’ve handed the Lover of my Soul the man I love and parted with him for nine months in order to pour out His love to 39 men and women of God.
I’ve swapped my dreams of Japan for discipling individuals in their identities and callings in the Lord.
I’ve given my Deepest Desire my desires.
In return He has called, chosen, equipped, and gifted me for a season such as this.
And with my arms held high, I’m declaring I trust in His will.
