Over two years ago I stood in the fitting room of Forever 21 in Osaka, Japan on my original Race.
My eyes darted over my body and to my face, wishing I could be more.
More beautiful, more skinny, more flawless.
The desires pulsed through my blood as I beat myself up over eating too many donuts and not growing my hair out longer.
Month one on my Race in China. Third one to the right.
Nine months later I arrived back in Minnesota. 35 pounds less, hair the longest it’s ever been.
Finally home!
And what happened when I achieved the body I desired?
I found myself completely unsatisfied.
Underneath my pursuit to meet a set of standards was a deeper desire.
A desire so rooted in my heart it spread to all aspects of my being:
A desire to be chosen and delighted in.
Even knowing the true roots of my disappointments and desires, I still strived and ran after the impossible.
Ran after the image I was never meant to bear. The world’s.
The past eight months have been a stripping away. An honest examination of who I am and who my Father truly made me to be.
Bare leaved, having no works or mask to hide behind.
He saw me fully exposed and whispered,
”You’re beautiful.
Oh my daughter, you are incomparable.”
Why do I waste so much of my time comparing myself to others when I was created to be me?
Now I know, I just want to be me.
For He sees me, and without performing or striving, I am complete in Him.
No standard to fail at, no bar to miss the mark.
“By the grace of God I am what I am..“
Paul writes in 1 Corinthians about his personal history along with being an apostle.
The grace: A gift.. a blessing.. a favor.. a loving kindness.
Lovely girl, know you are beautiful.
Captivating woman, know you don’t have to meet a standard.
The Lord sets the standard, and He calls you without flaw.
Month 3 on this Race with some of my gals.
