"When the complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love."
~ 1 Corinthians 13:10; 12-13, The Message
I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to write this blog; but considering I'm beginning my physical journey in just 10 hours, it's time. As I have always seemed to have done, I find difficulty in putting my thought into words and an even harder time putting them in writing. It's true, I've overcomplicated things and have thought it through and through and realize I just need to let you all know. Don't be scared, many of you have taken the time to talk with me and hear my heart and if I haven't I would still love to, so call me. I pray that in this, I share with you my heart, in a simple way.
Coming home from the WR was hard. I knew it would be. The race didn't end exactly as I thought it would. They tell us not to come on the race with any expectations. And I didn't really…I was open for anything. You can even check my blog, 'What to Expect, When You're Expecting'. However one thing I believed, had said from the very beginning, was that God wanted me to know that I was more than just a nurse. While He created me to be a nurse, that is not where my identity lies. He wanted me to know that my identity lies in being a beloved daughter of God, I am a Daddy's girl, and my Papa fights for me, because I'm worthy, because I'm desirable, because He just does, because that's who He is. This last year wasn't the harvest season or even the planting season, it was the tilling of the ground season. In this next season, God’s continuing to further what He began in me even prior to the Race…this process of trusting, hoping, and loving….
So…what’s next?
God is calling me to continue serving as a missionary with Adventures in Missions. This time, however, it’s stateside. On Friday, I’ll be moving to Gainesville, Georgia for 6 months to serve with AIM in a program called CGA (Center for Global Action). I'll work as an intern in the office while receiving discipleship/mentorship and a place to continue to process what happened and living in the truths of what God's been teaching me in this last year.
After 6 months serving with AIM, my desire/dream and plan (without telling God my plans, because many of you know what happens when we do that =) is to return home to my SoCal community and family, with a nursing job in the NICU.
Why CGA?
AIM knows WR's. They know what we have been through and know that we need to process the Race to further understand what God did in our lives over the last year. While living in Gainesville and serving with AIM, I will be discipled/mentored, I will be taking classes, expanding my leadership abilities, and learning more about the calling within a calling I believe God has given me (more on that later). I will be living in community (in America, PTL!) I will be seeking wisdom and counsel. I will begin my journey 'home'. Jack Frost states in his book Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship, "When I say 'home', I'm speaking of a place of warmth, protection, comfort, security, and identity – a place where we receive a sense of purpose and destiny and a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Home is the place we can run to when things go wrong, the place where we can receive affirmation and encouragement, not so much for what we have done but for whose son or daughter we are. Home is the place where we belong and cease striving and enter into rest."
What’s my dream?
My dream and my passion remains the same, I love, Love, LOVE my job as a Neonatal Nurse. If anything, I love it more today, than the day I started. God brought me through so much and I was able to have my dream become my reality 5 years ago. What God has given me clarity on, is that I have a calling within a calling, a ministry within my calling in the NICU. I have a unique opportunity to be with families day in and day out, week after week, for up to 3 or 4 months. The relationships I have built with parents have forever changed me. I love how I have seen God move in these relationships. I believe God can use me to carry out His will here on earth. It was here God gave me a choice. If you choose to stay here in California and return to nursing, I will bless you and you will excel, because it's something I called you to, and it will be good. But, I am asking you to make the difficult choice and step away from nursing a little longer, and it can be great. It is in this next season that I have so much to show you, teach you, and walk you through. It's going to be an amazing blessing, if you choose to walk forward in it as my daughter, whom I love beyond explanation." I don't know exactly what this all looks like, but what I do know is that I am obeying my Lord, my Papa in stepping into this next season of service and discipleship. So I go...
How Can You Help?
– Prayer & Encouragement – Prayer for strength, endurance, wisdom, guidance, understanding, patience, peace, provisions financially and otherwise, health, interactions with others, growth, etc.
– Finances – Since I am interning at a non-profit missions organization, this is not a paid internship. For September 2012-March 2012, lodging, food & expenses during my time at CGA will cost about $600/month – totaling $3600. I have covered the first 2 months. I must always stay ahead in my support account by 2 months. Many of you have asked how you can help. Finances are helpful and appreciated.
*I would love to expand my team of people praying, one-time, and monthly supporters. If you're interested in supporting me financially,CLICK HERE. If you want to get in contact with me, I'd love to share my heart and vision with you personally. Please message me on Facebook or on this blog and we can set up a phone or Skype date. Oh, and if you haven't had the chance to watch my video, you just might want to take some time and watch. Without you and all your prayers and encouragement, this trip would have been more difficult.
"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now."
~ Philippians 1:3-5
