Once upon a time, I wanted to end my life.
There were many complicated factors that attributed to this desire, but all culminated into one big lie the enemy was choking me with, “This life is pointless.”
I was convinced my time on earth would consist of nothing but difficult, painful circumstances, one right after another, punctuated only by the briefest moments of happiness.
Years later, I know how melodramatic that sounds, but when you are treading water in a hurricane, eventually, after one too many waves crash over you, you lose hope that the storm will ever pass- or that you will ever be found and rescued.
I have been a Christian since I was very young, but my religion actually complicated the matter for me even further. In Philippians 1, Paul talks about the tension between being on earth and advancing the gospel, while wanting to depart to be at home with the Lord. I’ve been told all my life that in heaven every tear will be dried, there would be no more pain, and I would be home. That was my desire- I didn’t necessarily want to die, I just wanted to go home.
My picture of heaven was a place I would go to eventually if I suffered through this life long enough. I had “accepted Christ into my heart,” I had my entrance ticket into paradise in hand, and I just had to batten down the hatches and wait for this time on earth to be over- and then my real life would start.
Now, I don’t want to overstep my knowledge in this area, all I know is what I know.
I know the Scriptures talk about heaven as a real place where God sits on the throne and Jesus is at His right hand. Throughout the New Testament, the writers speak of a place Jesus went to prepare a place for us, etc. Salvation, through a relationship with Jesus Christ, does mean we will spend eternity with God, and it is right to look forward to that time.
However, what I never understood was what John the Baptist was declaring in the wilderness, what Jesus preached during His ministry: “Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Matthew 3:2, 4:17)
It is at hand.
Some versions say, “has come near.”
The kingdom of heaven isn’t some far-off place to hope for someday, it’s near- it’s in our midst.
The “kingdom of heaven” is mentioned throughout Matthew, specifically in Chapter 13-
- “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed in his field…” (13:24)
- “The kingdom of heaven is like a grain of mustard seed that a man took and sowed in his field…” (13:31)
- “The kingdom of heaven is like leaven that a woman took and worked in three measures of flour till it was all leavened…” (13:33)
- “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field…” (13:44)
- “The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it…” (13:45-46)
- “The kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and gathered fish of every kind. When it was full, men drew it ashore…” (13:47-48a)
In all of these examples, “the kingdom of heaven” is like an object- it’s the good seed, the mustard seed, the leaven (yeast), the treasure, the pearl of great value, and the net.
But at the same time, each of these objects doesn’t fulfill the analogy on its own; to complete the picture, in each instance, Jesus speaks of a person and their actions.
- The man sowed good seed in his field.
- A man took and sowed the mustard seed.
- A woman took and worked the yeast into the flour.
- A man found the treasure, covered it up, sold all he had, and purchased the field where the treasure was.
- A merchant, after searching, found the pearl of great value and sold all he had to buy it.
- Men drew the full net ashore after they had cast it.
The kingdom of heaven on earth wasn’t brought down in it’s entirely in an instant- it requires a process.
In every example, the person involved had a process to walk through- whether that is sowing in anticipation of the harvest, working yeast into the flour, selling all they had, or the drawing the net ashore. The potential is always fully there, it is up to the one who receives the object to do their job and make the most of it. This process was started by Jesus, handed to us to continue, but won’t be complete until Jesus comes back to bring it to completion.
What I wish I understood when I was younger is that, while forever with God is my future, I was a part of the kingdom of heaven the second I repented and turned to God- and that kingdom has a presence on earth!
I’m not simply a daughter of the King, trapped in a tower far off, waiting to enter the kingdom someday- I was then, and currently am, a daughter of the King who has a current and vital role in the spread and development of the kingdom NOW.
The kingdom of heaven is filled with the community and fellowship of believers, the power of the Spirit to make earth like it is in heaven, literally bringing heaven to earth.
Our lives aren’t meant to be a time of waiting until “real life” begins; God has designed us for a specific job: to spread and build His kingdom here.
It’s one of the “mysteries of God” that I will never understand! He has placed in His people a mustard seed of the kingdom to be planted and tended to, a scoop of yeast to be worked in, a net to be drawn in, a pearl or treasure to sell out for.
Pain happens, sometimes it’s overwhelming, but I have learned life isn’t pointless! God turns pain to gold, brings beauty from ashes, and uses it to advance His kingdom and bring heaven to earth.
Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand- and you are a vital part of it!
Praise be to the King of the kingdom!
-L
