We are attempting to connect with/possibly go volunteer at the hospital in town. We have a connection through the priest of the church across the street from our hostel- he leads a service at the hospital chapel on Thursday evenings. We are planning on checking that out but we also found out there are services on Tuesday as well, so Bliz and I headed there this afternoon.
The service was open to the hospital community and the surrounding area and consisted of members of various Christian 11denominations. Their aim is to worship and meet together and bring Kingdom in this community.
The service consisted of an hour of intercessory prayer, some singing, a couple words of scripture/testimony, and a sermon. This service was one of the most-timed and most convicting ones I’ve experienced on the Race. Through the Holy Spirit, I was able to connect like I haven’t been able to since Malaysia and He convicted me like crazy- never fun but totally worth it.
One of the areas I was convicted in was the area of the fruit of the Spirit. As described in Galatians 5, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.
During the service, I got the questions, full of grace but tough love: “Where are your fruits? Are you living a life that “shows” you are a follower of Mine?”
Instantly, I began to compare myself with my teammates. Do I love like Emily? Do I have Bliz’s patience? How about Mariah’s joy or Kayla’s kindness or Erinn’s peace?
Comparison has been HUGE on my Race- it’s my go-to method of gauging how “well” I’m doing… But the Lord stopped me. He asked me if I love like Him, have His patience, His joy, His kindness, and His peace.
I like comparing myself to others because then I have some control. I know that if I am not doing as well as I perceive someone else to be doing, I can just try a little harder and I’ll, more or less, match them. Comparing myself to Jesus, on the other hand, is crazy hard; I will never hit the mark.
Thankfully, there’s grace. Thankfully, I am not called to PRODUCE these fruits, just allow them to be grown through me. On my own, I will remain the hard-hearted, impatient, sarcastic, crazy woman I came into the Race as. Leaning into this process of refinement through fire, allowing God into the deepest, darkest recesses of my soul and allowing Him to change me from the inside-out… that’s ALL through His power and strength. I say yes, He does the heavy lifting.
I say yes, He does the heavy lifting.
I just need to restart, and continue, saying yes.
