This morning I checked in on my various World Race-related websites to see how things are going, like I do almost every day. Right now, things are a little quiet- my only fundraiser I have in motion currently is a t-shirt campaign through BonfireFunds.
As I sat in my living room, eating my breakfast and sipping my coffee, I casually clicked on the link that takes me to my Bonfire account. Suddenly, in the back of my head, I heard myself say, “Aren’t you tired of being disappointed?” I would usually brush off a thought like this, but today, it struck me like a freight train and I realized how dangerous this line of thinking is.
Aren’t you tired of being disappointed? Aren’t you tired of putting forth the effort of fundraising just to be rejected time and time again? Aren’t you tired of hoping and praying that you will be successful just to fall flat on your face, again? Wouldn’t it be nice, just for a while, to put this “World Race” on the back burner- just for a while- and focus on you and what you want?
It was call to give up, if only for a little while, take a little detour off the path I am traveling down, and focus on… something, anything, else…. because this path is hard. It’s exhausting. I didn’t realize how much rejection comes with fundraising- and you would think, by now, I would be used to it….
I stop, take a breath, and I am reminded, yet again, where my focus needs to be. My eyes have slipped from the cross and the promises of God and have focused on the minutia that comes with the World Race and living life in general.
God doesn’t need me to spend hours fussing over fundraisers. He doesn’t need me to sell t-shirts, hand out mason jars for people to collect change in, and host bake sales… He doesn’t need me to stress and take any “failed” fundraiser as a personal affront- because He has this under control. He doesn’t need my time, my money, my blood, sweat, and tears- what He wants is my obedience.
I need to focus on Him, build my relationship with Him, and trust that He will provide. I need to look back on the past year and see how He has already provided for me, and trust that He will complete the work He has started. I need to check my heart and be newly grateful and humbled by the many, many people who have supported me so far.
I have been given an amazing opportunity to join with other Christians and be a part of what God is doing around the world… I’m so sorry I sometimes forget what a honor and privilege I have been blessed with.
