I thought:
*I was indestructible
*I wouldn't be affected by month 9
*That my mind and heart had been changed so much that nothing could make me depressed again.
*That seeing my best friend from home during month 8 debrief would get me through the last three months of the Race.
I thought:
*A little chest cold wouldn't tie me to a bed for three days.
*Being allergic to foreign laundry soap wouldn't make me feel like I was literally losing my mind.
*the idea of lice on the squad again wouldn't make me completely consider shaving my head (the dead ends are probably that intense anyway).
*I would always enjoy heading out to ministry
The truth is:
*I'm not indestructible
*Month nine sucks
*The devil is sneaky and tries hard to being back old tendencies.
*Community is hard (especially as an entire squad in one house!!)
The truth is;
*That chest cold at the beginning of the month is what started this want need to go home
*Skin allergies can truly make you wish someone brought a straight jacket and you could borrow it!
*Lice….let's just not get started on that one
*Ministry isn't always so easy and relatable, but God still makes all things work for His glory
This month has been hard. Sickness. Ear infections. Itchy skin. Feeling oppression. Feeling depression. Home sickness. Wishing the Race was only nine months. Yup, all of it.
But the truth of the matter is that God called me to 11 months. He did not ask me to do 9 of the 11 and go home or check out; no, He knew month nine would drive me out of my mind and He wanted to see me persevere. He wanted to test my belief of what I've "preached" to so many over the past nine months:
That He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion
And
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
I won't quit. Though it definitely seems the easier option, in the grand scheme of life, it's definitely the harder option.
I will persevere. I will push through the hard times. I will live in community for 69 more days. I will be fully present in ministry, even if it means smiling through not knowing an entire conversation in a different language.
I will be able to say I have fought the good fight, I have finished the Race, and I have remained faithful.
