Throughout of life, I let the insecurities of not being good enough, the fear of being alone, not feeling lovable, unworthy, and not feeling beautiful creep in and destroyed me to my inner core. And I believed all those lies. All of these ugly thoughts consumed the way I viewed myself for such a long time. “Why am I single?” “Why do I feel like I’m not worth being loved or fought for?” “Am I not beautiful enough?” “Will someone ever love me?” “Will I ever go on a date?’’ “Will my dad ever walk me down the aisle to the man I will spend the rest of my days with?” “Will I ever plan my wedding?” “Will I ever have my own kids?’’
Being on the race God is clearing those ugly thoughts away that the enemy has told me for so many years. The thoughts that I gave in to believing and giving me a new view on myself and who I am in Christ.
I am pure, I am holy, I am lovable, I am a daughter, I am beautiful, I am worth fighting for, I am worthy.
I have felt that being a wife and a mother was my calling in life. It’s what I’ve longed for, hoped for, prayed for. It’s one thing that I’ve desired for my own life. Then, I felt Him calling me to the World race. When I got accepted to the Race, AIM wanted me to commit to the year of ministry by agreeing to not enter into a relationship from my acceptance date to the end of the Race. Wow! another year of being single? But what’s another year for me I’ve only been single my whole entire life? But I agreed, because I knew it was what God was calling me to.
I began to realize that being single was something that was directly related to how my identity was looked at as a woman and that if I didn’t get down to the bottom of this, it was going to overshadow my identity in Christ.
My life is not on hold
I am not waiting around to be rescued.
Within the past month I’ve seen so many people getting in relationships, engaged, getting married, having kids. And sometimes it’s honestly hard for me to see. People ask me “You’re 21 and still not in a relationship or married?” and they are shocked. I never know how to respond. I’m single so what. That’s not where my identity is.
From now on this is how I will respond:
I’m single because I am saving my heart and waiting for a man who loves God more than he loves me
“A woman’s heart should be so lost in God that a man has to find him in order to get to her”
My identity is not in being single.
Singleness is a gift from God.
God’s favor is a gift. The gifts that He wills for my life.
My greatest need in life is not a spouse; my greatest need in life is a Savior — and I’ve got Him. His name is Jesus.
Singleness is such a sweet time for growth as an individual. It’s a time that is not wasted. Pursue the LORD like he pursues you every moment of every day. Grow in maturity before giving your heart away to a man.
Women fantasize. We need to remember to guard our thoughts and not use our brothers in Christ as objects of our fantasy that we admire. Earthly men can never fulfill the fantasies that we have. They can never provide all the emotional support we as women need or desire. They’re wired differently and don’t always understand the needs we have. Only Jesus can do that. God began working in my heart to totally grasp that I need to focus on Him first, not some guy, then God. God is my first love.
I’m single because I refuse to change my relationship status for someone who falls short of what I deserve. Knowing my self value. I’ve chosen to preserve a spot in my heart for a real man, someone mature enough to understand that loyalty, commitment, and honesty is a priority and not an option.
God told me about my husband. The one He has already chosen for me. The one He had chosen for me before I was even born. If He has chosen him for me than he is already mine. Right now. And I am his. Right now. It totally blows me away. Hear me out. God has someone chosen for you right now. In this moment. Set apart uniquely for you! You do not have to search. You do not have to worry. He or she is yours. If that is all true. If they are already yours. Then to spend any time pursuing or seeking another person is cheating. Whether you know who they are or you don’t. You’re cheating. If God has already chosen them to be yours for eternity than why give your heart away to someone else? If you give your heart away to people who God hasn’t chosen for you, what part of your heart will your husband have? nothing. Do you want that? Or do you want to give your husband your whole heart? Just wait and be content. God will reveal that special person in His perfect timing.
” the entire reason for marriage is to be an example of Christ’s relationship with the Church. He paints a picture of God and asks if God wants us to test out other gods and idols before coming to Him? of course not! God desires to be our one and Only. He desires to be our Everything, because without Him, we are absolutely nothing. This is what God has been teaching me. I need to focus solely on Him this year, and every year. And if he sees fit, He will bring my future husband to me. But our relationship will ultimately fail if it is built on what we have created. only when Christ is the foundation can we build a strong marriage. And oh, that is what I want! More than that, though, I want to be so deeply in love with Christ that nothing else matters. If he wants me to be married, it will be His plan, not mine. and if that means that I will never be married, so be it. It’s a struggle to admit, but it is so worth it. Marriage is not only about me, him, it’s about us and the Kingdom. A beautiful marriage walked out in the community of Christians, Is a blessing to many others, not only themselves. It’s an opportunity to advance the Kingdom beautifully and strong!”
Concentrating on the gifts in my life now, cultivating faithfulness, and continuing to pray for my future is the best way to be content and satisfied with the wonderful life I am blessed to live. Right now.
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still.’’
I have had the pleasure of being friends with some great guys. Guys that opened doors, walked on the outside of the streets, after late night events they made sure I made it home safe. Guys who are like brothers to me. Guys that I know who genuinely care for me like a sister. Guys that love Jesus. Guys that made me remember why I’m holding out for a real man and guys that were friends enough to never let me settle for less. They have shown me Jesus through their genuine friendships and I am grateful. Thank you for being a man of God to me. It’s a blessing and it’s rare but it’s a beautiful thing.
You deserve a lot because you’re worth a lot. Seriously you are. You are worth everything. God sacrificed his one and only son on the cross. You are worth that much. You are important. You deserve to be loved and cared for because God first loved us.
Ladies: Don’t just settle. Don’t just look on the outer appearance but look at who he is on the inside, Does he love God more than he loves you? Is he kind, sweet? Is he a gentleman? And men, step up and lead the women in your life. Your girlfriend, your friends, your sister…any and all of them. A woman respects a man that gives her hope for the kind of guy she might find and long to have someday.
be bold. courageous. believe that you are worth more.
