The past few weeks-
The struggles that I have faced this month:
– This month has been a slow paced kind of month. A month of waiting and waiting for responses from the email I send. A month of searching and networking on computers.
– I'm struggling with living in the present and looking so much in the future and missing the opportunities and the blessing that are right in front of my face.
– I felt a huge disappointment in myself that I haven't accomplished my own expectations that I personally had for this month. But instead I need to have expectancy. (I realize that when they say "don't make expectations" they mean it)
-I feel like I have failed myself, God and the people in Serbia. I didn't take the opportunity to talk to that person on the street, to talk to that person in the market. I tend to be really hard on myself for such things.
– First experience with Unsung heroes: no structure, no plan, but relying on the Lord for direction
– Discouragement and hurt have taken a hold of me this month. I know thats the enemy attacking. Because discouragement and hurt is not of God. I don't accept it. It's just how I have felt in the past few weeks.
– I have honestly felt forgotten from some people back at home. I am completely content with the life that I'm living at the moment. I wouldn't change this life for anything. Nothing at all. If God called me to remain in one of the countries and not go home after world race. I'd be more than happy about it. It's hard to miss people when I have this feeling when people have forgotten me. I do miss you guys and I do want to know how your life has been!
– It's not easy to leave the comfortable life
– It is painful, the enemy attacks, this feeling is real.
The celebrations that I have faced this month:
– God is teaching a much needed lessons of trusting Him in everything, and being patience.
– God constantly reveals to me the beauty in things that people may just not see beauty in. I see beauty in the stray dogs on the street, I see beauty in the beggars on the street, I see beauty in the people that I have met this month in Serbia,
– Even though I fail, God never fails. He still loves me no matter what happens.
– God is moving in Serbia, God is already in Serbia people just need to experience His unconditional love. The Serbian local people need to know Him and make Him known.
– Realizing that change doesn't happen overnight but that just loving people here. That can be planting seeds in their hearts and God has the rest. I may not see people accepting Christ as their personal savior this month but we were called here to love. That is exactly what we are doing.
– We have made some pretty incredible contacts in Niš, Serbia who are willing to be willing to have future world racers come and join them for an entire month to help with anything and everything they need help with. Thank you Lord!
-Finding my identity in Christ not in other people
-Building close relationships with my teammates, we are a family. A family who desires to grow with eachother and bring light to the darkness in this world. It's a time to invest in my team because there;s going to be some months where we don't have that opportunity.
– Making friends in Serbia by the riverbank, in markets, in restaurants, on the side of the streets of Serbia and just simply showing them Christ's love.
Today I'm feeling:
The struggles have been real, the celebrations are incredible. God is merciful and faithful. i keep being reminded that he has in this month,He will do all that he does in this month for His own glorify. I am just his hands and feet in Serbia. No matter how I feel about this month I will praise Him. It keeps me pumped and strive to finish strong in this country. I want to see myself to stand up and go for what I feel like I need to do as far as ministry goes whether that means meeting someone on the street, praying over the streets of Serbia, doing something. I just brings a passion to me to get out the four walls of this apartment and walk the streets of Serbia. I cant just wait in an apartment to see something happen, Nothing will happen if I'm sitting around waiting. I want to experience something big. I dedicate these next week and a half to go above and beyond what I have done. I want to end on a strong note. Not on a note that I'm feeling like I haven't done anything at all. God has brought an overwhelming love on me in the past few days that came out of nowhere. Today I feel much encouraged which I needed. The enemy really knows where to get me, to make me feel like I'm a failure, God has revealed to me that i am utterly beautiful in His eyes when I get ugly thoughts about my appearance. This month I have grown, I have been changed to be more like Jesus. It hasn't been easy, it's not over, this is just the beginning, Oh Lord please Help me! This month has been a time for me recognize the things that I need to change in myself, what I need to tell someone and not keep it to myself, to be confident in the person that God has made me to be and not to compare myself to anyone else, I desire to have bible knowledge more. There's definitely some ups and some downs but God will be there. I want to experience the world not just see it. God really has been moving in me, and growing me more. I believe that God has given me this month of alot of down time just with the Unsung heroes responsibilities, this month is different from the rest of the year. God continues to wreck me and reveals to me what I need to change in myself.
here's just some things that I have struggled/praises that has happened this month.
