I’m Just So Tired………

 

I’m Just So Tired……..

 

I’m finishing up month 10 on the World Race, moving in to my final month until I return home and I’m just so tired, I’m completely exhausted! Some of you may be thinking, “Laura, what are you tired of? You’ve been traveling around the world for nearly 11 months seeing incredible sights, visiting new countries and experiencing new cultures. Why are you exhausted?” Here’s a list of things, to name a few:

• I’m tired of not having hot water/ running water/or water that has to be hauled, chlorinated or boiled

• I’m tired of sleeping on a sleeping pad and in a sleeping bag

• I’m so very tired of having no privacy or personal space

• I’m exhausted of never having alone time and having to go everywhere with a buddy

• I’m tired of not knowing the language

• I’m tired of being pointed at and occasionally laughed at for being different

• I miss my bed….ALOT

• I miss washing machines

• I’m tired of eating weird things (blood cake, fish with bones, pig skin)

• I miss electricity that works every day and all day

• I am sick and tired of rice everyday for the last 10 months. (It’s the one thing every person in every country can afford)

• I miss having toilets that flush and being allowed toilet paper in the toilet instead of burning it

• I’m tired of the smell of burning trash

• I’m tired of riding on dirt roads and riding in buses that are way too packed (we can get 15 people in a car built for 8)

• I’m tired of seeing poverty, starving people and abused children

• I’m tired of seeing chickens and ducks everywhere and dogs and cats being abused

• I’m tired of only having internet one day a week and spending 4 hours trying to get it to work

• I’m tired of having things break (head phones, computer, headlamp, zippers)

• I’m tired of not having appropriate tools or resources to accomplish a task for ministry (We had a huge field of grass that could have been finished with a lawn mower in 1 hour, but we only had machetes so the same job took a day and a half)

• I miss my independence

• I’m tired of talking about and analyzing my thoughts and feelings in a group setting

• I’m tired of having things pointed out in me that need to be changed or “improved”

• I’m tired of getting sick (sinus infections, dehydration, stomach bugs, malaria)

• I’m tired of over night bus rides to get to a new country

• I’m tired of living on $4/day

 

So why have I continued on? Why have I made it to month 10 and still have 1 more month of all of this to go? Why do I do it? It’s simple, because it’s worth it! Yes, there are days when you’re so drained emotionally and physically that you don’t know what else to do but cry, but there are days and moments where you can’t imagine being anywhere else, and events that you experience that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Christ is real and has you here for a reason. These are the reasons why I get up every morning:

• Seeing the most beautiful sunsets every day in Swaziland

• Having a dance off with the amazing teens in Nepal

• Watching the sunrise at Angkor Wat in Cambodia

• Having kids pick flowers for me everyday of our youth outreach program

• Holding precious babies at a home for orphaned and/or abused children

• Brian’s smile ( a 4 year old boy with cerebral palsy who was a living example of what Joy is)

• Visiting children in a hospital

• Dancing for churches in Nicaragua

• Holding baby goats and pigs

• Seeing Christmas Carols at the Governor’s house in Thailand

• Watching men and women prisoners raise their hands in worship & prayer in Thailand

• Bathing Moam in Cambodia (See past blog about Moam)

• Pastor Mark and his family treating us as his daughters and loving us so well in Malaysia

• Taking a nap with a baby cow under the grape vines in India

• Talking with victims of human trafficking and loving on them

• Celebrating Holi Festival in a village with the locals in India ( throwing colored powder)

• Seeing Mt. Everest and the Himalayas

• Giving countless piggy back rides to children

• Having impromptu dance parties with my teammates

• Incredible worship nights

• Making life long friends

• Laughing until I cry

• Crying tears of joy

• Water balloon fights

• Capture the Flag games

• Teaching the Cha Cha Slide in EVERY country

• Talking to prostitutes on the streets of Cambodia and sharing Christ

• Singing on the radio in Thailand

• Sitting next to a monk on a bus

• Receiving huge meals at house visits and eating seconds and thirds so as not to offend the host and seeing how happy they are with each bite you take. (Most of the time we were fed their best food and would go without just because they wanted to bless us)

• Sharing the love of Christ

• Listening to laughter of countless children and adults. It really is beautiful to hear and see.

 

Even though there were hard times and times when I actually thought about throwing in the towel and saying “I’m done”, I’m glad I didn’t because the good times were definitely worth all the difficult times. I will cherish these memories forever and soon I will forget those difficulties that I faced. I know more about the world, other cultures, myself and Christ than I did a year ago. I’ve seen hardships in every country I’ve visited but I’ve also seen the love and mercy of Jesus Christ and how when people open their hearts to Him they are transformed.

 

Every day, no matter where we live or what we’re going through, each one of us has a decision to make, Are we going to get up and make the most of our day and give it all to God or are we going to let life pass us by and let fear win? Yes, we will all go through difficult times and we may even wonder how we’re going to get through it, but my hope is that you realize just how strong of a person you really are and how beautiful it is to come out the other side and see what you accomplished with God on your side. You may surprise yourself at what your capable of handling and how much you can achieve with a little faith and hope.

 

Throughout the Race I’ve had to rely on a couple of great verses to get me through and to keep my focus on why I am doing this. I hope you find comfort in these verses like I have.

 

• “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that is yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out fro my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I send it.”

  Isaiah 55:8-11

• The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”

  Isaiah 58:11

• “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.”

  Jeremiah 29:11-13

• Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

  James 1:2-4

• Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will ear; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.”

  Luke 12:22-29