One of the most unexpected blessings I have received on the World Race has been the opportunity to work alongside and learn from real missionaries. They have put me into a position of realizing that I have so much to learn and so far to go on this journey…and I love it! This month in Thailand I had the opportunity to meet some incredible people who have devoted their lives to serving God. One thing they all had in common was that by the world’s standard they should be all be enjoying their retirement.
Bud Jones is the carpenter, gardener and all around handyman for Remember Nhu (the organization my team worked with this month that works to prevents children from being trafficked into the sex trade) He reminded me so much of my own Grandpa. He is 75 years old but you would never guess it. He works tirelessly every day but still has the energy to spend time with the kids when they come home from school. Bud loves to talk and he enthralled us with stories of how he and his wife did missions around the world and fostered more than 300 children. I learned so much about what being a servant looks like from him. When we asked him if he would ever retire from ministry, he looked confused and simply told us ‘Why would I ever do something like retire? I am going to get out of bed and give God my best until I can‘t get out of bed anymore‘.
We met another missionary named Kenny who shared about his work rescuing girls trapped in prostitution. He has truly seen the atrocity of this fallen world and told us he is constantly crying out “There is so much work to be done…where is the church?” He told us he knows exactly what Jesus was talking about when he said “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.” He prayed over our team that we would constantly be reminded that our life is but a vapor…that God would grant us all a renewed sense of urgency. He prayed against a life that would end up in retirement.
I have spent many quiet moments alone this month questioning what I am going to do with the rest of my life. I have always loved knowing I had a plan. I liked to cross things off of lists and know exactly what was coming up next. I felt secure knowing that I had money that was collecting interest in the bank. I know the life I was leading before the race was one that was heading towards retirement. I’m not saying that I have decided to throw away my career as a dental hygienist (take a breath Dad!), but what I AM saying is that I can no longer justify spending my life planning for a future that isn’t promised to me.
I don’t know what the rest of my life is going to look like, but I know that the God who loved me enough to die for me has called me to leave the things of the world behind. He has called me to make Jesus Christ known among the unreached, the poor, and the sick. Not everyone has been called to venture into the jungles of South America to spread the gospel, but do not be mistaken…We have ALL been called.
When Jesus called Peter he fell to his knees and cried, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” THAT is the place that God is calling us to every single day…falling on our knees at the feet of The King, the Lord God Almighty. But that’s the easy part. Once you find yourself on your knees you need to be like Peter…standing back up and FOLLOWING HIM. I just don’t know what that looks like for me yet.
Part of me feels a little hypocritical writing a blog like this. I have definitely not spent my life up to this point dying to myself and taking up my cross daily. It is a constant struggle for me to fight against the temptations and comforts of this world. I will even tell you that I know that part of me will hesitate before uploading this blog because I worry what the people who never knew me as a Christian will think I’ve gone off the deep end. Abandoning yourself to follow Jesus is a life that is much easier to write about than to actually live.
But it’s the life I desire more than any other.
And I know that I can rest in the fact that He has a plan for me and it is so much better than any plan I could make for myself.
So pray, pray, PRAY. Pray that God will never stop changing my heart. Pray against a life spent living for my selfish desires…that I will not be a prisoner of this world but a slave to righteousness. Pray that I will DAILY be brought to my knees by the beauty of my Savior and that my heart will be open and willing for Him to lead me.
…and pray against retirement.
