I’ve been so incredibly blessed by God to have been to the places I have and to have been blessed in each area of my life. As some of you know I’ve had the amazing oppertunity to live at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City,MO and litteraliiy dug into God and dug into the things that He has for me. I was SO INCREDIBLY BROKEN when I went there. I knew my name, I could tell you facts about me, where l’ve been, what I’ve done in my life, where I’ve gone, about my family, etc. And it was the same with God. I knew the facts, that he’s a good God, who loves us and wants us to serve Him, etc. But I didn’t know the depths of God. I didn’t know His whisper, His heart, His Holy Spirit love that fills every crevse. I didn’t know the real me, who I was in Him and who I was in me.
I was dealing with a life’s worth of CRAP, PAIN, SORROW, JOYS, HAPPINESS AND INSECURITES. I knew there had to be a change.
Now, IHOP can’t heal you. Only God can. It’s not a miracle building where if you only touch the front doors and enter then you’ll be healed. NOPE. But what God did for me there was a miracle. God broke down the walls, He showed me His Holy Spirit and it was so sweet and beautiful and powerful. I got so ANGRY at God for so many things, and yet there He was constantly breaking off piece by piece……
God had me, (who usually doesn’t like to sit still unless there’s a tv on), sit for HOURS ON END, in a loud prayer room, with no real scheduale to follow, and pray, talk to Him about EVERYTHING. How bored I was, how I loved my roommates, how I was so glad I had brought my suv to the internship so I could grab Starbucks on the few breaks we had each month. It must have been a month before I really opened up to Him. Before I let Him start digging up all the crap and replace it with Him.
I was FINALLY getting to know this intimate God that I had thought I knew all along. But it was SO MUCH MORE intimate then I’d experienced. So personal.
While I was there Misty Edwards, the main worship leader at IHOP (and whose family I had the pleasure of knowing as part of my nightwatch family) was starting to sing a new song that had growing popularity. It is called, You Won’t Relent. I could’ve cared less about it’s popularity- and I’m sure Misty could’ve too. But this song is from God to me. Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to be selfish but every cord, every note, every lyric hits me so personally. It’s based off of Song of Soloman 8:6 and is literaly God’s words and us responding. It’s incredible. God used that song as a large part of my healing there. Please check it out- I pray it ministers to you too.
I don’t really know where else to go with this blog but to say, Thanks God for blessing me with healing my soul, and giving me IHOPKC which gave me a place to just sit for 3 months and focus on You. And to encouge you out there reading this that God desires to not only heal you, but He longs to have a personal, intimate relationship with you.
Merry Christmas Everyone! I love you!
