At debrief in La Paz I had my first “zone” encounter with God. Michael (our coach) started off our morning by saying that God had given him 2 pictures that described people on our squad. I forget the first one, but the second picture he described fit me so exactly I was surprised when other people raised their hand indicating that they felt the same way. I really honestly believed that it was so accurate about me that I could be the only possible person to fit the picture. This is what Michael described: our bus is going down a road, seemingly fine. It is making progress and is steadily moving forward. Then all of a sudden the waters start to rise and sure enough the bus engine floods and stops. There is no more progress. This picture was a description of our spiritual lives. He asked if anyone had felt like they had been making progress with God but in the last week or two we had stopped moving, stopped making any more progress. Wow! How accurate this was. Although, when I think about it, I guess I was still making progress in the previous couple of weeks however, I felt stalled. I felt like I was losing touch with God, whom I am here to serve. So Michael prayed with each of us individually for God to work in our lives. And then it happened.
I was in a zone. A Holy Spirit zone. I have never felt one before, so I didn’t recognize that I was until afterwards when two different people at two different times that day mentioned how in the zone I was. I felt like I had been praying for maybe 10 minutes but in reality I guess it was closer to an hour. I could feel God’s presence in the warmth of my hands and chest. This was also the first time that I spoke in tongues for any length of time. If you have been following my blog, you know that the question of speaking in tongues has been a question in my life, and in many of the people on the squad. After writing that blog I had determined not to worry about what other people think and just go by what I saw and experienced. So while I was in this Holy Spirit zone I was praying in English, then I felt it turn into tongues and things would not come out English anymore and that was really intense. I did pray in English in my head though, because it says in 1 Corinthians not to let your mind be idle while your spirit is praying. The tongues was not uncontrollable, and I was able to stop speaking whenever I heard God tell me to be quiet because He had something to say. This happened twice.
The first time God told me to stop and listen He showed me a picture of an onion. He reminded me of the line in Shrek (yes God can use ogre’s to speak to people) about onions having layers. He was saying to me that I have layers and that He wants to strip me of the layers down to my core. While He was saying this, I saw the onion´s layers being removed and I felt my stomach moving like God was reaching in for my core and removing layers. He was saying this to tell me that I am going to change this year. I was asked before the trip what my biggest fear was and I responded by saying that I was most afraid of not changing, of wasting this year. God reminded me of this statement and told me not to worry. He reminded me that He never leaves His work unfinished and that even if this race is just the beginning, that I am going to change. Then He convicted me by asking why is my biggest fear that God not fulfilling His promise to work in me and change me?
The second time that God told me to listen up He spoke to me about being my Father. This title of Him being my Father has been another question I had been pondering in the week or two before this encounter. He told me that He loves me, and will give me good gifts. He can hug me and wrap me in His arms in a hug 100 times better than the best on earth. He showed me a picture of my dad when I was little taking me to the park and bike riding and reading a book in his lap, saying that this is the Father He is. He is approachable, and I can climb into his lap to tell Him anything. I don’t need to be nervous around Him, or think that I can’t tell Him something. He is the perfect Father who loves me.
During this whole time of prayer I had asked God about three times if it was ok if I sat down yet. God kept telling me no and then shared something with me. Finally the last time I asked He said yes, it’s ok to sit down now, and it turned out that about 30 seconds after I sat Michael was ready to start speaking. God knows what is going on and He wanted me to be ready for what Michael had to share.
The theme of the things God shared was to trust Him. Trust Him to finish His work in me. Trust Him to be a good Father. This whole year so far has had this theme of trusting God. TRUST TRUST TRUST. Each time He speaks to me, it’s as though He is reminding me to trust Him. The verse I read later that day continued in this theme of trust. Psalm 95:8-10 says “Do not be stubborn, as your ancestors were at Meribah, as they were that day at Massah in the desert. There your ancestors tested me and tried me even though they saw what I did. I was angry with them for forty years.” To me this said Do not doubt God! You have seen what He has done! Trust Him!
This whole experience in La Paz was only one of a number of good times when the Holy Spirit showed up in our meetings. This was the most impactful time for me, and I am really excited about where it is going to lead.
