As a squad, we have been skinny dipping spiritually with each other. We have decided to be real with each other and break down our facades and walls that we have been hiding behind, some only recently, and some for their entire lives. Some really deep wounds have come to the light through this. But confessing our deepest, darkest secrets is the first step to healing. “Sunshine is the best disinfectant,” and how true that is for spiritual and emotional wounds as well.
Yesterday we released our worries, pains, and hurts with a little exercise. We each took a piece of paper and folded it in half. On the one half, we wrote down what we were releasing and wanted freedom from. On the other half, we wrote down truths that spoke directly to the hurt/pain or lies that we believed. One by one, we stood up in front of everyone and professed what we were releasing. We ripped the paper in half, throwing the hurts/pains/lies into a bowl and keeping the half with the truths. Once every single person had gone, we burned the bowl full of papers, resembling the things we wanted to be free from. It really was a freeing experience; as it burned, we broke out in worship.
One of my squad mates told the group about how she felt that God had given up on her. She had such a strong passion for a certain career, but kept hitting stumbling block after stumbling block and eventually, had to give up in the pursuit. This happened only a few short months ago. She and I have very similar stories in the pursuit of our passion and having to give them up, reluctantly. This blog is for her; you know who you are. But I pray that is would also be an encouragement to everyone who reads it to trust in God’s sovereignty and His perfect plan, and the perfect timing for that plan to unfold.
In my life, my passion was soccer. Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to play Division 1 soccer in college and major in food science. When I was young, I thought I wanted to do this at Penn State. As high school came around and reality set in, I realized I was not nearly good enough to play and accomplish my dreams at Penn State. Ultimately, I dreamed of being an all-star, with a chance of being All-American. I ended up Googling Division1 schools that had a food science program. At the time, there were less than 40 schools in the nation that fit that description. And after researching their soccer programs, I realized that I could not feasibly play at any of them.
Since I was so set on playing soccer, I decided that I would change my potential major to chemistry and then go on to get my masters in Food Science in order to enter my desired career field. So I started looking at Division 1 schools relatively near home. My mom challenged me to look at “smart schools” [whatever she meant by that], so I found myself looking at Drexel University. Sitting in the Admissions office looking through the list of majors, I realized that Drexel had a Culinary Science program.
Within minutes, I had emailed the soccer coaches and told them about my upcoming showcase. They ended up coming and watching, which resulted in them asking me to come on an official visit [GREAT news to a college recruit!]. On my visit, they told me they really wanted me to come play for them, but they had no more money to offer to me as an athletic scholarship. Their contact in the Admissions office estimated a partial academic scholarship based on my transcript and test scores. I said thank you and kept looking into other possibilities.
A week or so later, I got a call from the assistant coach at Drexel telling me that I had received a full academic scholarship! I immediately verbally committed to coming to play for them the following fall. They had told me at my official visit that they could not promise anyone a starting position, but it was up to me. If I trained hard, and put in the effort, and constantly improved, they would take that into consideration. So the training commenced.
