Answer: You become bedridden for 2 days
This past month, God has used my teammates time and time again to call me out on my biggest weakness: my strength. My teammates have asked me to open up and rely on them more than I have been. The difficult thing is, I have always been independent. I have always dealt with my problems on my own. There have been a select few people who I have shared a lot of my problems with, but never after only a month of knowing them.
I know that I am not meant to live this life alone [Galatians 6:2 ]. I am much more quickly willing to carry others burdens than let others help me carry mine. I trick myself into thinking that they are my problems to deal with by myself. And sometimes, even going as far as believing that no one has ever gone through this before and no one else would understand what I am going through [FALSE: "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man" -1 Corinthians 10:13].
This past Friday, I fell ill while at our ministry site. I was supposed to help cook lunch for the day [which I did manage to do before the worst got to me]. I first felt a little queasy after breakfast, so I bought a can of 7Up at the tienda next to our ministry site, hoping it would quell my nausea. I went to the market with Loli and the two Michelles to buy food for lunch and I didn’t feel that bad. When we got back to the house, I helped with the car a bit to allow the kitchen to clear out before I started making my dish.
I worked for almost an hour, scraping and sanding. Michelle came and told me the kitchen was clear so I headed up to start. I felt queasy as I chopped the broccoli, but since I was the only one that knew how to make this, I knew I had to finish it. As soon as I finished, I laid down on the couch in the living room, without even telling anyone that the dish was done. I fell asleep on the couch until Erin woke me up for lunch. I still felt sick to my stomach, but I figured I could at least sit and listen to the conversation. I forced myself to eat some food, even though I felt sick. I also drank some Coke, hoping that would help.
After lunch, I tried to go back downstairs to help with the car, but at this point I had chills and was probably running a fever. Pastor David sent me upstairs to sleep in Anna Lu's bed, which I obliged and slept until almost 7pm. My team had worked late to finish the car and I just slept away.
When we got back to Agape In Action, I went straight to find a bed and pass out. Michelle ran to my tent and grabbed my sleeping bag/liner, and a change of shorts for me. Erin and Kwak went to get Dr. Street to come check me out. Erin/Kwak/Michelle then got me everything the doctor told them to get for me, which included chamomile tea with a dash of ginger, limes, Tylenol, and anti-nausea medicine [I was so out of it, I have no idea who did what; all I know is that they all took care of me!]. Michelle went out to the store to buy me Gatorade, 7Up, and crackers, too. They even brought me dinner, although I couldn’t stomach up the courage enough to eat it.
One of my squadmates, Jackie was staying in the same room as me and continually offered to get me more water, tea, food; whatever I needed, she even gave me permission to wake her up in the middle of the night.
The next day, I woke up feeling very achy and with a slight headache. I was no longer nauseous, but still felt fatigued and opted to stay in bed. Dr. Street came back with a diagnostic and gave me antibiotics to take. People came in throughout the day to check on me and offer me more water, tea, food, anything I wanted. These were not just my teammates, but several squadmates as well.
My natural instinct is to say 'thank you, but I'm good for now,' but on several occasions I declined and then immediately rescinded my declining and took them up on their offer. Sunday, I woke up feeling leaps and bounds better, but woke up with diarrhea [TMI? Oh well…]. I at least felt good enough to get out of bed for the day.
As I laid in bed on Saturday for hours on end, the more I realized that this was an answer to prayer [not the most glamorous, but an answer none the less]. I had been asking God what I looked like to rely on my teammates. He said, "this is what it looks like." I was incapable of doing anything for myself, and even though I tried to deny that fact, trying to convince myself I wasn't as bad as people thought I was, I knew God was using this experience to teach me a lesson on dependence.
I still have no idea what it looks like to depend on my team when I am physically capable, 100%, but these last few days started to give me a peek of what that looks like. So, thank you, Team Tumbler, for calling me into greatness and calling me out of myself. I am still a work in progress, but at least progress is being made. 🙂
