Immediately upon stepping off the plane in Kolkata, India, it felt different. In a way, things felt lighter. There was a looming feeling in Africa that is hard to describe and I don’t think I fully understood it until I was removed from it. Much darkness and spiritual heaviness resides there. Asia, and India in particular, brought newness; new expectations and excitement and new possibilities. We were going to be doing ministry with an organization that is very well developed. They are called Partnership Mission Society (PMS) and they have several hundred schools and churches all over India. We didn’t know exactly what ministry would look like when we arrived, but my personal expectation was to not have one and to simply go and do what He asked. This month also marked the final chapter of Team Sunflowers, so we had agreed to make this our best month yet! Saying goodbye will be hard, but until then, we had India to conquer together!
As we landed, I prayed about our time ahead. I prayed for more; more intentionality, deeper relationships (with each other and people we would encounter), more revelations about our Maker, and just more moments of wonder. As I look back, wow, did I get them.
We bused for hours and through incredibly bumpy and winding terrain in unbelievable heat without air conditioning. Windows down the whole way; faces covered in dirt and sweat collecting it in an even more elaborate pattern on our bodies and when we all arrived to the school we would be staying at as a squad of 54, we sat and I looked around. This was that World Race moment I had wondered about. People seeing me at my very grossest moment. Showers weren’t yet possible, so we fanned ourselves with the Styrofoam plates and all that really did was move the humidity around. The humidity almost felt like its own shower it was so heavy on us and as the sun beat down, we prayed for a breeze. There was no avoiding it. And so, we all together somehow, reached this moment of complacency and acceptance of each at our ‘finest hour.’ I had wondered how I would feel when these people saw me, dirty, super smelly, hungry, sweating, no make-up, filthy clothes and bad breath and what I hadn’t anticipated was that they, too would be in the same condition. And this marked the beginning of our journey together in India and the Lord strengthening us into an even more United and powerful body of believers.
I won’t run you through all the details of everything we did together as a squad that week in Marquolene with the PMS organization, but I will tell you that it was absolutely incredible. My favorite day was when we worked as one unit with local villagers as well, moving bricks up a mountain. One brick from one pair of hands to the next until finally reaching the top where a church would be built; a church laying the foundation for a church, just as it should be. It ended up being one of the most incredible experiences I have had working together as a body of Christ. It rained, it was really dirty, it was a lot of manual labor, later it got really hot, 100% humidity, but no one complained. We encouraged each other, we loved each other, and we supported one another. And brick by beautiful, red, dusty, brick we became a better family.
I had a job at one point of placing bricks in the baskets of some of the local people who hauled these heavy loads on their backs. It sometimes pained me to place these bricks in their baskets because it just seemed like too much weight. I was adding weight on and on and making their loads heavier and that was so hard to watch them widen their stance to brace themselves for the weight. I wanted to go with them and help them carry it up the mountain, but I couldn’t help them all. And through this moment, the Lord revealed things to me.
I think it also pains Him when He adds bricks to our loads in order to grow something in our lives; hard things that actually draw Him and I closer together just like that day passing bricks to each other did. What I now understand, though, is that when I choose the hard things and embrace the challenge, He doesn’t let me walk away on my own. He comes beside me and carries those bricks with me. These people would say, “One more” when I thought they had reached their brick limit. But when they walked away with their heavy load, it showed me that it wasn’t impossible. And I found myself wishing I could live my life that way, just one more. To ask for more challenges in life is to live in humility knowing that you can’t do it on your own. And that is a good posture to find yourself in. And I want to give Him my all, living in a posture of expectation and eagerness, saying, “One more brick.”
These difficulties in life bring sincere prayers; prayers that bring a “fervor of desire which raise our hearts to Jesus” (Mother Theresa). The best part is that He doesn’t just dump things on us and make us go it alone with this heavy load. He actually does the thing I wouldn’t do; He turns around with us and helps us carry it. He even says so;
“Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for i am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matt 11:28-30)
We left Marqolene and Team Sunflowers joined in helping with medical camps along with two other teams for a week (Yes, it was AMAZING). We then stayed to work at a school in Damcherra, Inida. It was an incredible time of ministry loving on the kids there and spending time with their church body (more on that in the next blog). Towards the end of the month, we headed to Sielmat (a 14 hour bus ride away) to attend the memorial service of the founder and former President of the PMS organization, Dr. Ro Pudaite.
From what I learned about him, Dr. Ro truly walked a life of humility. He was a man who wasn’t afraid to ask for ‘one more brick’ and face whatever the Lord had ahead for him. He was “in” no matter what. And hearing about his life and all that the Lord accomplished through him, I was envious. I want a life like that; a life of adventure and risk and fearless boldness because of what assurance I have in the Lord. A life lived empty and full all at the same time. A life so surrendered that I am willing to stop what I am doing to help someone carry their load.
The Lord showed me this in a tangible way while we were in Sielmat. We were at the airport for the ceremony in which his body came from the US and was received by the family. While standing in the hot sun, I suddenly felt chills and could tell I was going to be really sick. I may have gotten a bit dramatic because I felt so terrible so I really don’t know how bad it actually was, but I had a 103 degree fever, body aches, chills and nausea and threw up several times; all of my least favorite things. My squad leader, Zach, got transportation for us from the airport and left the service early with my teammate, Christi, and I to get me to the hospital. He would set the tone for how safe and protected I would feel that entire day.
Despite feeling so vulnerable and uneasy about being sick in a foreign country and on such a tender day, I knew, no matter what happened, I would be taken care of. Later that afternoon, while I was in the hospital, three of the leaders of the organization came to check on me. They took time out of their day of mourning the loss of such a great man whom they all loved so much to come and show me love. Their hearts were breaking and still they poured out love. I will never be able to thank them enough for what that meant to me. As I was talking with them, I told them I was still feeling nauseous so the ring leader, Ronnie, immediately called the nurse in to give me more medicine, after which I promptly started to puke my guts out. I had only just met these men that month through doing ministry with them, but regardless, they loved me and came alongside me to carry my load with me. They held my head and my hair, rubbed my back and cleaned my puke basin for me. So selfless. There aren’t words.
Then the “irony” comes. The previous month in Mozambique, Christi had prayed over me to be loved on well by men. Why I needed this, I’m not really sure, but regardless, the Father knew I did. He also answered this prayer in the most unusual but beautiful of ways. And through this experience, He revealed more and more about His love for me. These men were practically strangers, but they all had one common thread; they love Jesus more than themselves and that leads to a selflessly lived life where they also love others more than themselves.
“From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Mother Theresa).
Amen! What I want my life to be is exactly what they all embody and what I got to experience first hand as they loved me so selflessly. They are men who say, “One more brick.”
As I reflect on this moment, it challenges me to continue to make more of this race. Shoot! More of this life; to do more and challenge myself to more because when I do, I don’t go alone. The load isn’t heavier when I ask for more to carry because there is One who carries it with me. He shares the load because He promises to do so. He sent His Son as proof of that promise. And! He equips me to also share the loads of those around me.
What does He equip me with? Something so simple and yet so profound. Love. When we think we can’t go any further, He sends someone to walk with us. But He also asks us to do the same for those next to us because although this love He has given us is free, it also comes with it a great responsibility; to share it.
“There are thousands of people who would love to have what we have, yet God has chosen us to be where we are today to share the joy of loving others. He wants us to love one another, to give ourselves to each other until it hurts. It does not matter how much we give, but how much love we put into our giving.” Mother Theresa
