To explain where I’m at right now, I should walk you through our life since arriving at Eden in Bloemfontein, South Africa…
What a day looks like at Eden Ministry Shelter:
We wake up about 6:30/6:45 every morning and head to the ‘coffee bar’ which is a room they have allowed us to use for meals and team time. We get breakfast ready and have worship playing in the background as we prepare for the day ahead. After sipping our coffee, we head over to the dining room where the residents are finishing up their meal of porridge. One of us gives the devotion of the day and we have learned that having a translator who speaks Sutu is a huge help. We go over the date and orient them to the season, etc. We dismiss them and the ones taking medication head towards the clinic, along with me. We pass pills and I grab a few blood pressures (using an electronic machine that is unlike anything I’ve used before). I clean up in the clinic and walk around to see my teammates and make sure they’re getting on okay.
Christi is close by doing a wood-working workshop with a few men. That area brings a lot of joy to my heart because I see them working together and supporting one another as they build their individual planters and trays. Christi does a great job of bringing even more joy to that area also. Her laughter and light-heartedness helps make it even more enjoyable for them.
Jenny is in the kitchen with the kitchen staff and a few residents. She has her own apron and a pile of carrots in front of her. She smiles and the staff and her sing songs throughout the day and I can tell she has brought a fun, new light into that part of the center. She has a way of making those monotonous tasks light hearted and fun for them. She has peeled so many carrots, the people were calling her Carrot as her name, not realizing it is actually Jenny.
Olivia is outside in the playground with the kids at the ‘criche’ which is their word for daycare. She is laughing with them and playing cards and having fun. I know it has been challenging for her having not had any experience in teaching children, but she-and really all the people on our team- have just done so well at falling into whatever role they have set for us.
Amanda is in the craft room helping teach the women to make necklaces and bracelets. They use the jewelry they make in there to sell and bring in money for the Eden Center. Amanda loves it and the women she gets to interact with. She is going to also start helping Althea, one of the head workers, organize the store room where they have a lot of donations for the residents that need to be sorted. She has embraced all the challenges she’s faced with such grace and is trying to find the best way to develop that area.
Melissa is in the office with Sellani, their office secretary/admin person. The computer is old and needs a new screen, but she is learning their ways and how to best improve their processes for better managing the residents here. She looks comfortable in that area and is doing well at trying to help them get more organized and just make the over-all process better.
Now what’s happening inside of me:
Since I stepped off the plane in Johannesburg, I have had only about a million and one thoughts going through my head at any given moment. The perfectionist and protector in me has been obnoxiously noisy. “Do this, don’t do that, say this, say that. You could have done this better, you should have said this instead.” On and on. I want to lead this team well and I want to look back and say “I ran the race well.” However, my attitude right now is not what it should be. I am constantly thinking that God will only be pleased with me “IF” I do this or that, if we serve all the time and always put others ahead of ourselves and that the moments when we don’t are failures. Trust me, I know this is wrong. Trust me, my heart is being stretched and challenged to get rid of this mentality. I know God is pleased with me; I know he was pleased with me before I even left home for the unknown with Him on the World Race. I know these things, but for some reason they are having a hard time settling in my heart as I feel so unsettled in this foreign place.
Throughout the week serving here, there has been a major theme and I can tell at least one thing He wants to work out in me through the experience here is humility. Clearly. He wants me to realize I am better than no one; that I am not deserving of anything. Oh, how I feel that in my moments of gratefulness. How easily it could have been for me to be in the position of so many of the lost, hard, and broken faces I see around me. But because I was born into a different place with a different family, my life has turned out this way….blessings abundant!!! But in my moments of “I need” or “I want” the humbleness is lost. And the ‘I deserve more’ thoughts come in. Rudely.
So, instead of trying to be “the perfect Christian Ministry,” whatever that means, I will strive to be more deliberate. I won’t strive for blanket love without intention behind it, I will seek moments. Defining moments. Moments that will stand out and weave together to make a quilt of Holy Spirit-filled memories that I will have with me always; that will then be carried on to encourage me and others in this journey. As I was reading today, I was challenged with this thought of things that endure; that have a lasting impact. It doesn’t usually happen by accident but through enduring difficulty and creating intention.
“Euripides (a famous poet) once confessed that it had taken three days to write the verses. His astonished friend, a poet of lesser abilities, exclaimed, ‘I could have written a hundred in that time!’ ‘I believe it,’ replied Euripides, ‘but they would have lived only three days.'” (Understanding the Bible in 30 Days, by M. Anders)
I could have a lot of really ‘nice’ things happen this year if I try to love in my own shallow way and shove a ton of ministry into a short period of time, but what will be gained from that? Or, I could be deliberate with thoughts and prayers surrounding our ministry always and shove a lot Jesus and His love behind my words and actions to weigh this year down with heavy “God” moments. That will gain more depth and have more impact on my heart and theirs than any blanket of shallow, empty actions I might try to do on my own.
I hope you will follow along in this journey and see how God shows up. It’s going to be unreal! Stay tuned 😉
